Should you invite work colleagues?

When planning a wedding, the age old question of what to do about inviting work colleagues to your wedding is one that troubles many engaged couples time and time again. For most of us, we spend a lot of time around our work colleagues and have grown a close relationship with a number of them, but there is often others you may not be as close to for one reason or another. So how do you strike the balance between inviting who you want to without inadvertently offending the others?

So when it comes to your wedding day, is there a particular party you agree with or are you still a little confused on the right way to do things?  The first thing you need to think about is that there are no rules, just common sense in relation to the work situation you personally have. Only you will really know what is acceptable in your workplace but here are a few things to consider…

Think about the size of your office

Do you work for a large corporate or a smaller regional office, shop or start up? Have a think about the dynamics in your workplace and how closely you work alongside your colleagues. If the whole company works in real proximity to one another, it makes sense to not just exclude one or two people from proceedings but if you work solely in a team that is one of many, then perhaps consider just inviting your team and your boss. As we say, it’s common sense so just assess the situation appropriately.

Remember, they don’t need to come for the whole wedding

If you’re worried from a budget and space point of view, then there is absolutely no harm in just inviting them to the wedding entertainment evening do. Again, if there are some colleagues you are closer to than others, then invite them to the ceremony and reception and then make it a more open invite to the others for the evening after dinner and speeches.

Consider whether your office is formal and traditional

Traditionally in larger and more corporate companies it is generally expected that you will invite your boss or bosses, especially if you are inviting your co-workers. If you know your office is a lot more relaxed, then again assess the situation and think about how close work in relation to your boss on a day to day basis.

Ask around to see what others did

Hopefully for you, there will be people who have got married before you in the office who you can quiz on what they did. If there is a recurring theme of whether they invited everyone or just a very selective few, then consider following suit.

They’ll probably need a plus one

If your work colleague is married, engaged or in a long term relationship, then it’s likely they’ll need to have a plus one. Again this is entirely up to you but if you are offering plus ones to the rest of your guests, it makes sense that they should have one too.

If you choose to be selective, don’t shout about it

It is totally okay to choose just a few colleagues and many people do, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. But if you’re going to do so – don’t make your wedding a common topic of conversation in the office, especially if there’s just one or two people you’re not inviting. You want to be as subtle as possible to avoid getting people’s feelings hurt.

Late License Venues

When it comes to celebrating one of the best days of your life with all your favourite people around you, the very last thing you want is for it to end early! This is why couples and their family and friends (who are fully prepared to party all night) feel it’s a real priority to choose a wedding venue that has a late license.

1. Roman Baths and Pump Room

Oh beautiful, beautiful Bath – not only are you one of THE most gorgeous places in Britain but you also know how to party. This lovely Wedding venue situated at the heart of the World Heritage Site can be enjoyed by you and all your guests until 1am.

2. New Craven Hall

If you’re after a more industrial feel to your wedding, New Craven Hall in Leeds is the one for you. With gorgeous interiors of exposed brick, large metal beams teamed with warm lighting and luxurious soft furnishings – it does a lot of the decorating legwork for you. Not only that, but you can enjoy the venue and it’s lovely bar until 2am Sunday to Thursday and 3am Friday to Saturday.

3. Searcy’s St Pancras

If you fancy something really alternative but still quintessentially British, why not get married in the spellbinding St Pancras station? Searcy’s enables you to hold both your ceremony and reception all in one place in one of London’s most iconic buildings with a late bar until 1am. If that isn’t late enough, you can always apply for a later license.

4. The Rosendale

For an elegant but understated wedding, The Rosendale in leafy West Dulwich is a great venue for cosy, British charm. With a late license until 1am this local makes for a wonderfully warm place to gather all your family and friends on your big day.

5. The Singer Tavern

Set in the heart of the city of London, this stylish pub and cocktail bar has a light and airy feel. With an industrial, American diner look, this venue makes for a great backdrop to your wedding reception. The basement cocktail bar gives you enough room for dancing and drinking, which is made even better by the fact this venue has a late license until 4AM! If everyone manages to last until that time, we will be very impressed.

Non cringey readings

Planning a Wedding is pretty stressful and then there are poignant speeches and poems to consider (if that is what you want) Brits ultimately don’t want something that feels too cringe or over the top to say. We want something that can transfer sentiment in a meaningful, thoughtful and beautifully written way that speaks of real and true love, not just the love you find in novels. Here are some non-cringey readings and quotes from books that will really hit a chord with you and your wedding guests, without it feeling a little too intense.

Wild Awake by Hilary T Smith

“People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.”

The Zygote Chronicles by Suzanne Finnamore

“I’ve felt basically lucky ever since, almost every day of my life. That’s something else love should make you feel. It should make you feel fortunate. It will be made clear to you in a stray gesture, the line of a throat. Something in the hands. There may or may not be any music playing. But there will be a certain velocity of the spirit, a sensation of dropping through clear space unimpeded, and you think, This is the one. I found you.”

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres”

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being ‘in love’, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks

“Where does a story truly begin? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, those moments when we can, in looking back, say that everything started. Yet there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen.”

The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach

“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”

He’s Not Perfect by Bob Marley

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

Jasper Jones by Craig Silvey

“What I’m feeling, I think, is joy. And it’s been some time since I’ve felt that blinkered rush of happiness. This might be one of those rare events that lasts, one that’ll be remembered and recalled as months and years wind and ravel. One of those sweet, significant moments that leaves a footprint in your mind. A photograph couldn’t ever tell it’s story. It’s like something you have to live to understand. One of those freak collisions of fizzing meteors and looming celestial bodies and floating debris and one single beautiful red ball that bursts into your life and through your body like an enormous firework. Where things shift into focus for a moment, and everything makes sense. And it becomes one of those things inside you, a pearl among sludge, one of those big exaggerated memories you can invoke at any moment to peel away a little layer of how you felt, like a lick of ice cream. The flavour of grace.”

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

“You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here… You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be.”

This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen

“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater … The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.”

 

Beautify for your Wedding

Everybody’s priorities are different, whether it’s spending more on that PERFECT wedding venue or that little bit extra for the wedding photographer whose photos you absolutely love, there are some things that you just can’t avoid paying that bit extra for.  As for the beauty side of things, there are certainly a few ways you can keep the pounds in your pocket!

It’s easy enough to get swept up with everything, taking on board all the suggestions of those around you and this can leave you feeling a little overwhelmed as well as worrying about finances to fund it all.

Skincare, Health and Fitness

Certain beauty treatments such as facials, are the most obvious thing a bride feels that she needs but to be honest with you, if you aren’t having regular facials already then there is really no need to start now.  The same thing goes for any other treatments or products promising to tone, tighten or take years off you!

The best thing you can do for your skin is keep yourself healthy.  Making a conscious effort to drink more water, eat more vegetables and increase your protein intake will give you far better and quicker results than any “wonder” treatment or product.  Green and herbal teas are great for keeping you hydrated and for flushing out toxins and they are a lot more interesting than water.

You don’t need to go into a blind panic and sign up at the gym or worse, hand over wads of cash to a personal trainer.  The simplest pleasures in life are free!  Getting out there in the open and doing some high powered walking or running will really jump start your metabolism and you will begin to notice results within a few days – not to mention that you will feel better too!  Even if it’s just 10 minutes a day, make a point of factoring it into your pre-wedding beauty routine and you can start pushing yourself further and for longer as you get used to it

Nails

As for manicures and pedicures, while it is lovely to visit the salon and be pampered while they do it for you, this can become extremely costly. Fear not however! These are super simple to do at home and in all honesty I actually prefer doing these myself at home. I don’t have to sit impatiently waiting for my nails to dry in a strange place, I can watch TV or read a book in the comfort of my home while any polish sets.

All you really need for this is a cuticle remover, orange stick and a nail file.  It’s very simple, the cuticle remover when applied and left for a minute will get to work and then you just need to push them back with an orange stick and the cuticle itself should easily come off.  You can remove any dead skin from the heels of your feet with a pumice stone, or by lightly grazing a razor and then just finish off with a good helping of moisturiser.  That’s really all there is to it!

Hair and Makeup

Firstly, make sure it is just a basic trim and not a complete restyle that they need you to model for! There should be no need to worry as you’ll usually find a senior stylist present at all times to ensure there aren’t any mistakes.  As for conditioning your hair, again, it’s nice to get wrapped up in all the beautifying but you don’t need to rush out and buy the latest keratin treatment!  There are lots of home remedies you can make to nourish your hair or even just applying coconut oil can help bring any ratty locks back to their ultimate shine!

When it comes to makeup for the day, if you don’t have the budget for a makeup artist then putting some hours in on YouTube tutorials to teach yourself can really help.  It’s like learning any new skill, it’ll take time so be patient.  I would make sure you find a YouTube artist that you find easy to follow and stick with following their videos only instead of confusing yourself hopping from one to another. If you’re in need of some new make up anyway, then getting yourself down to a makeup counter for a ‘“free” makeover which is redeemable off products purchased after then this could be a great learning tool for you too.

If you really don’t have a budget for wedding hair or makeup artist then don’t scrimp on costs or forego a hair or makeup trial unless you are absolutely sure that they will do a great job for you on your wedding day. Tension will be running higher than normal on your wedding morning and time will be precious so you do not want any nasty surprises or added stress of trying to rectify a bad hair or makeup situation! You could be better off just doing it yourself if you’ve practised enough – that way you will know exactly what you are doing and what to expect.

Help Ditch the Stress

If you’re feeling frazzled on the lead up to your big day, you are most definitely not alone. There is no doubt that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful events you may have to put together so it makes total sense that every once in awhile you need to take a step back and essentially, chill the hell out. So we’ve put together a list of some activities that are guaranteed to get you zen

1. Get Outside

Sometimes there’s nothing better than wonderful fresh air to clear your head and help you realise the things that matter in life. Take a stroll in the countryside or in your local park – we love a bit of people watching as a way to check out of your own life, just for a little while. Treat yourself to a hot choc or a burst of caffeine, grab a magazine or a book, a good pal or the dog and just chill – we guarantee it will do you the world of good.

 2. Go on a date

In all the wedding chat, you can often lose sight of what this is all about – your marrying the very person you love the most. So turn this period of time into a bit of a pre-honeymoon phase and value the time you spend with your husband to be. Organise a date night that you know you’ll both love and just catch up and most importantly – ban the wedding chat, just for one night. If will help you put everything into perspective and help you realise there’s other stuff outside of the wedding bubble.

3. Have a digital detox

During all the wedding planning process, you’ll probably find yourself glued to some form of screen between work during the day and then wedding prep at home. Plus with weddings becoming increasingly more digital and people often deciding to RSVP via text.

We love the idea of a ‘blackout’ night, where you and your other half put all phones and computers away and just limit yourself to films, books, board games and oh yeah, each others company! It can seem a bit odd at first but trust us, you’ll love the uninterrupted quality time.

4. Keep a Balanced Diet

Some stress can often be perpetuated by having too much or too little of something in your diet. In the lead up to your wedding, it’s important you’re staying healthy and eating enough of everything. Make sure you’re eating at least 5 fruit and veg a day (preferably more vegetables than fruit) and that you are getting the correct amount from each food group. A good way to do this is to ensure you’re sticking to this as a routine throughout the weekdays and then at the weekend let yourself indulge a little.

5. Have a friends night

Just as much as a wedding is a celebration of the love you have as a couple, it is also all about the love you have for your friends and family. There’s no doubt that sometimes when you need to take your mind off things, getting together with all your good friends is the best thing for it. To minimise any stress of organising, get your pals round and have everyone bring a dish and some vino and just let the giggles ensue.

6. Write down your thoughts

Sometimes even when you’re trying to switch off and do some of the things suggested above, you’ll still have a little wedding voice chatting away in your head that just won’t go away. For moments like these, we recommend carrying a notepad around with you or writing down those thoughts in your notes section of your phone. Then at least you’ve got it out of your head for the time being and you can return to that thought when you are intentionally sitting down to do wedding planning.

7. Have an evening dedicated to YOU

Everyone has their ideal kind of evening and has a good idea of what sort of ingredients that might involve. For some it may be a takeaway and a boxset, for others it might be cocktails and a night out until the late AM. Have a think about what fail-safe things always make you happy and have an evening dedicated to YOU.

Make your wedding personal to you

1. Play Party Games

How about the menus being puzzles, so each person got one piece of the puzzle at their place setting, then everyone had to put the pieces together to get the full menu description. Crossword puzzles are fun for the back of a program or if you have guests going on a long bus ride to get to the reception venue.

2. Walk Down Memory Lane

Make the guest feel like integral parts of the day by incorporating them into the wedding design — in a gallery of meaningful photos. Why not hang pictures of the bride and groom with friends and family along the walk from the ceremony to the reception. It’s a fun cocktail party conversation starter.” As guests take a leisurely stroll and find pictures of themselves with you, they can reminisce and socialize.

3. Break the Ice Creatively

When you enter your reception for the first time as husband and wife, don’t just take a conventional arm-in-arm stroll. “Run. Skip. Dance. Swoop in on a rope swing! Brainstorm with your groom about the most creative, appropriate way to make a big impression. This is a great way to break the ice and set up for a fun vibe for the rest of the event.

4. Be Entertaining

Guests always love the energy of a live band but tend to want to hear the original artist sing their favourite tunes. As a compromise, a bride may hire a dance band but also play DJ music during the breaks, or she’ll arrange to have live music during some parts of the event and recorded music during others.

5. Love Poems.

Love poems from a book makes a wonderful, lasting guest favour that’s much more meaningful that a bag of sugared almonds! If you buy in bulk, you might get a discount — contact your bookseller directly. And don’t forget to add a personalized bookmark thanking your friends and family for sharing your big day with you.”

Be money savvy

Between the wedding food, the event space, the wedding photographers and the band — you may have spent a large part of your savings on your wedding. If you were lucky enough to receive wedding gift money from friends and family, you can really make this money work for you. Instead of using your cash for a trip to the Caribbean or on a new car, consider the following suggestions:

Start an emergency fund. We know it doesn’t sound as glamorous as a spa package, but starting an emergency fund and help to combat stress when something unexpected comes up. Whether it’s a sudden boiler breakdown or car repair, this saved cash will help if times get tough. It’ll also make you feel better to know there’s a bit of a cushion. We recommend opening an account that offers quick access and storing away £1,000 — you can always add to it.

Pay some bills. You’ve just planned a huge event and you’ve paid your fair share for it, so don’t feel guilty about using some of your gift money for your monthly bills, or even prepaying your mortgage if you have one. If you’ve been carrying around some unwanted debt — credit card, or car loan — consider paying off some of it. Having trouble deciding which to pay off first? Start by paying off the loan with the highest interest rate.

Watch it grow. It’s a smart idea to save and invest a big chunk of your gift money — this way it can gain interest and over time make money for you. It could be your deposit on a home or a nest egg for retirement. A financial adviser can help make sure you’re putting your cash in the best account for you, whether that be a tax advantaged plan, like a traditional ISA.

Invest in your home. If you’ve been looking for a place to call your own, your wedding money may make a nice deposit payment. As you probably know, the larger your deposit, the less interest you’ll typically end up paying on the loan.

Already have a nest? You could make updates and improvements to your current place, which can potentially increase its property value.

Look into life insurance. Now’s the perfect time to take out life for you and your new spouse. Pushing a plan to the side any further will make it more difficult to attain. Thankfully, this isn’t a huge investment, just a smart one.

Keep children entertained at your wedding

Paper Chase

Download colouring pages, word searches, crosswords, spot the difference from the internet, make sure you give out with crayons or coloured pencils to avoid mess to clothes and tableware.

Silent Scavenger Hunt

Create a tick sheet of things to listen out for or observe during the wedding – what colour are the bridesmaids’ dresses, wedding flowers, what songs were sung, did the best man remember the rings, how many were wearing hats.

Book Corner

Have a range of books to cover differing ages of children at weddings. Put on tables or set up in a corner with bean bags – great for sleepy ones later in the evening too.

Box of Tricks

Create boxes of simple toys such as bubbles, board games (travel ones are cheaper and smaller), jigsaws, and play dough – hassle free distractions for children without the need for too much adult help.

Children Only Room

Create a child-only space with TVs/DVD players, games consoles, books and board games. Children at weddings also love dressing up, craft activities/painting, sand trays and play dough.

VIP

Create tasks for children involved in the wedding to earn VIP badges – roles can range from marshalling guests to the right place to holding their wedding bouquet up the right way for younger bridesmaids.

Outdoor Games

Organise walks around the grounds or do nature searches using small bags to collect what is found. Also provide simple sports equipment such as balls, Frisbees, or cricket sets.

Entertainer

Wedding entertainers for children are a more expensive option when planning your wedding to go smoothly. Although they’ll keep little ones busy, you will need to provide another room for the performance. Be aware, though, that unlike a crèche, parents will still be responsible for supervision of their children.

Babysitters

Babysitters work well if the wedding venue is being held in a hotel. The babysitters can look after individual children or families in their hotel rooms bringing some basic equipment and also putting the children to bed.

Mobile Crèche

The most expensive option but it really is the ultimate answer, and many opt to share the costs with parents. A team will bring all equipment; will be responsible for your children and their entertainment for the whole wedding and even into the night with a sleepover.

 

Get a good night’s sleep

Every bride wants to look radiant and healthy on her wedding day, and getting regular, good sleep is a major contributor to getting this! When planning a wedding it’s vital to get some good sleep and here’s how…

Say no to champers

Although lots of people claim that alcohol helps them fall asleep more quickly, it actually reduces REM sleep – the stage of sleep associated with deep dreaming. Losing out on REM sleep can cause drowsiness when awake, so it’s best to avoid it altogether during the run-up to the wedding. Swap alcohol for herbal teas and non-caffeinated soft drinks, which also help with hydration.

Avoid coffee and other stimulants

Caffeine is obviously well known for keeping people awake, but many other snacks and drinks also contain caffeine, such a chocolate, tea and cola drinks. It is best to steer clear of food and drinks containing stimulants, or make sure they are consumed early in the day, as even in moderate doses, they can block sleep neurotransmitters, causing insomnia.

Light exercise

Although time is always tight in the weeks building up to the wedding, you should allow herself some light exercise every day. Avoid too much strenuous activity later in the day though, because this is more likely to cause you to wake up in the night!

Eat foods that contain tryptophan

If you feel you need an energy boost, it’s best to snack on foods that contain tryptophan. This is an amino acid, which is required for the production of serotonin in the body, which in turn produces melatonin – a hormone that helps with sleep. Yoghurt, bananas, milk and eggs are all high in tryptophan.

Put that phone away

Although the days before a wedding can be frantic with so much to do and so many people to contact, brides should try to avoid using their phone, tablet or laptop late at night. Gadgets like this emit blue light, which is said to delay the production of melatonin, so keeping the body awake.

Turn off the TV

38% of people watch television to wind down before they sleep. However, this can actually harm the sleep cycle because watching TV before bedtime encourages you to stay up later than you would naturally.

Listen to sounds that aid sleep

If you’re anxious and finding it particularly difficult to get to sleep at night,try one of several devices or apps available that generate white noise. White noise devices work two ways: by blocking distracting noises, and by producing soothing sounds that are relaxing and help to induce sleep.

Sleep naked

It’s always tempting to wrap up in cosy pyjamas on cooler nights, but going to bed naked can have several benefits when it comes to getting our beauty sleep. Studies have shown that having the wrong body temperature at night can stop the dozing off process, while not allowing the body to regulate its temperature – by wearing clothes, for example – can prevent people from reaching the deeper stages of sleep.

Turn the bed into a sleep haven

Don’t compromise on comfort – make sure your bed is as comfortable as possible, even if it is just to change the bed linen for something luxurious, or swap a thick duvet for clean, cotton sheets to ensure she has a cool and calm night’s sleep before the wedding.

 

Things not to do when proposing

We love to hear a good proposal story, and we’re sure you do too. But there are some things that just make us cringe at the thought of. If you’re thinking of proposing soon, here are the things NOT to do…

Get ahead of yourself

Popping the question is a big moment in any man’s life. No matter how confident you are, you’ll want to know the answer you’re going to get, not just assume it. It’s sensible to test the water before going ahead and proposing – talking about the possibility of marriage isn’t ruining the surprise!

Lose the box

No matter what kind of proposal you have prepared, whether it’s tying the ring to a puppy’s collar or hiding it in your fiancé-to-be’s ice cream in a restaurant, make sure you keep the box. Without it, it’s kind of like a cup of tea without milk, a burger without a bap, or, just an engagement ring without the fancy box.

Forget to practice

Even though the words ‘Will you marry me?’ seem simple enough, the moment you’re actually asking the question will make you aware that it’s a little more difficult than that. Getting the proposal right is all about good timing, wording, and minimal hiccups – so practice, practice, practice!

Tell too many

The thoughts of you marrying this girl might have started up from the first date you had, and your friends probably started getting sick of it. But do you know what? That’s okay. What’s not okay is going on and on about your proposal plans, so much that you don’t know who you’ve told and who they will tell. Keep it a surprise from your friends as well as your girlfriend.

Go public

The whole flash mob idea may be great to watch on YouTube, but it’s a different story when it’s actually happening to you. Most brides that we know certainly wouldn’t enjoy this public display of affection. Keep the proposal to yourselves, and shout about it after!

Get impatient

If you’re on a romantic holiday with the intention to propose on the last night when you’ve planned to go watch the sunset (just an idea for you all!), don’t be tempted to blow this plan just because every time you go for a change of t-shirt, you see the engagement ring hiding away in the suitcase. Wait for the right moment, and keep patient. It will all come together in the end.

Be empty-handed

… or, perhaps, you don’t have a ring. This isn’t a good idea for a proposal because it makes it seem unprepared and a spur of the moment thing. (If it was a spur of the moment thing, we hope it was a previously-thought-about-spur-of-the-moment thing.) We know it shouldn’t be down to a piece of jewellery, but…

So hopefully your proposal story will run, or did run smoothly! Hopefully you’ll be planning a wedding very soon!!