Category Archives: Tradition

The meaning behind wedding flowers

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From romantic symbols to emblems of hope, the historical meanings behind some of the most popular big-day blooms may surprise you.

If you’re planning a wedding with lots of personal touches — you’re getting married the same month you and the groom met three years ago! Wearing Mum’s veil! Serving the cocktail you had the night he proposed! — think about personalising your wedding day flowers too. But instead of basing your choices on colour and style alone, let the blooms’ historical meanings inform your decision too.

The “language” of flowers is a thing and has been for centuries. During Victorian times, for example, flowers were used to express emotions when words and gestures failed. Today, many couples follow this romantic practice and create bouquets and centrepieces with flowers whose meanings have some significance to them. While flowers with a love connection, like roses and carnations, are popular, there are many other meaningful traits like new beginnings (daffodil), faith (iris), and perseverance (hydrangea) to consider.

While most wedding flowers have good vibes and positive sentiments, you’ll want to steer clear of those whose meanings have a negative association. (Begonia symbolizes “beware”; tansy, “hostile thoughts.”) Colour plays a substantial role in a flower’s meaning too. Everyone’s favourite wedding flower, the rose, has different meanings depending on the hue. While a red rose symbolizes passion, a white rose means purity and a pink one signifies joy and admiration. The same goes for hyacinths: The white variety means loveliness, the blue kind represents constancy.

Whatever sentiment you want to convey on your wedding day, there’s sure to be a flower to your need. Just like every picture tells a story, every flower has a story to tell too.

Gipsophila

Like an extra in a movie that stays in the background, this popular bouquet and centrepiece filler — which signifies festivity — is there to support the star flowers. With tiny white clouds for petals, it deserves top billing of its own!

Calla Lily

When people think “wedding flower,” this bloom often comes to mind. With its trumpet shape and elegant air, the calla lily more than stands up to its meaning: regal.

Carnation

Beyond being just lapel decoration, carnations can be massed together for a lush look that’s affordable. The pink variety means gratitude, and white is pure love but stay away from striped, which represents refusal…

Chrysanthemum

Looking like a cross between a pompom and a daisy, mums are a full-bodied favourite of weddings for their variety of colour, shapes and sizes and their symbolism of joy.

Clematis

A climbing plant of the buttercup family with large showy petals, clematis could be considered a brainy flower — after all, it symbolizes ingenuity and mental beauty.

Daffodil

What do marriage and this shapely spring flower have in common? Both represent new beginnings, which is tailor-made for a bride and groom’s big day.

Lily

The symbol of modesty and virginity, the white variety of this timeless flower is a wedding staple. The other shades have significant meaning too: The orange lily symbolizes passion, while yellow represents gaiety.

Rose

If you want your bridal bouquet to tell the world how you feel about your groom, nothing says it better than red roses, which symbolize passionate love. Pink (admiration) and white (purity) say a lot too.

Sunflower

Big and lush, sunflowers — symbolic of dedicated love — are beloved for their striking appearance and look-at-me allure and are often used at rustic, country-themed nuptials.

Tulip

If it’s spring, it’s tulip time! This beloved beauty comes in many colours, each with a different meaning. Among them: Red means declaration of love, yellow is sunshine and the variegated kind symbolizes beautiful eyes.

Polish weddings

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In Polish culture, weddings are preceded with engagement celebrations. Those are usually small parties held for the closest family members of the groom and the bride and are meant to get the two families meet and get to know each other better. The engagement dinner party means that both families accept the engagement.

In the past, the engagement ceremony was the time when the future bride received a ring from her beloved partner before the entire family gathering in a very official way, which resembled to some extent the wedding ceremony itself. In recent years, however, that official note has been largely abandoned and a ring is delivered when the future groom pops the question for the first time in a more private setting. The family gathering is just a nice way of informing the family members about the mutual decision once it has been made.

The Polish Wedding Ceremony

For many years, preparations for the Polish wedding ceremony and reception were largely concerned with finding a place for the wedding, organising food, drinks, making guest-list and inviting people to the wedding. In some regions, especially in the countryside, the custom was to invite family, friends, and neighbours in person, so the future groom and bride would devote a lot of time to visiting people before the wedding day. In the modern day, although the tradition prevails in some places, open-minded Polish younger generations and celebrities copy the western examples and some Polish brides and Polish grooms like to hold Hen and Stag parties shortly before the wedding day.

Most Polish weddings take place on Saturdays and continue through Sundays. The marriage ceremony and wedding reception for all guests are held on Saturday, while a smaller, more private party for close friends and family is continued on Sunday. There are no weddings during the 40-day Lent before Easter and during the Advent before Christmas. Those periods of year are believed to be the time dedicated for penance and preparation for the most important Christian holidays, so there is not space for public celebrations and dancing parties. Interestingly enough, there are very few weddings in May as well. This is mostly due to superstition, as many people believe that persons who marry in May are not going to be happy and won’t live together long.

In the church, the bride and the groom walk up the aisle together preceded by their groomsmen and bridesmaids. The parents and other guests are usually already seated when the couple enters the church. Whether the ceremony takes place in church or at a local magistrate, there must be two witnesses of the marriage, who sign the documents alongside of the bride and groom. During the religious ceremony, the traditional in the Western movies kiss basically does not exist. Civil ceremonies are less solemn and usually only the bride and groom, and the witnesses are allowed in the room, so whether they kiss or not, very much remains their private venture.

In Poland, weddings in the countryside are usually much bigger than weddings in the city. The reason for that is simple; in the countryside all people know each other, so most get invited to the wedding unless there is some conflict going on between the families. Thus, weddings in the country are longer and more extravagant because more people attend, and more guest return on the following day to celebrate, eat, drink, and dance some more.

A special moment on the first day of Polish wedding celebrations is when the Polish bride is taken the white veil off and an apron is wrapped around her waist. This symbolizes that she gives up her innocence and accepts her duties as a wife, a hostess, and a mother. Once this tradition is satisfied, the wedding guests give presents to the newlyweds. In most cases, those are congratulation card with money, but other useful household objects are also quite common.

 

African Wedding

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There is something special about African weddings with celebrations from jumping the broom to tasting four elements. To make it memorable and happy, here are some traditions that you can include in your wedding to personalize it so that it pleases everyone with unique experiences.

Jumping the Broom

This tradition reaches all the way back to slavery times. Today, this game consists of the bride and the groom jumping over a beautifully decorated handmade broom to publicly signify their commitment to one another. The newlyweds can hang the broom in their home as a reminder of their wedding day and commitment to one another.

Libation Ceremony

As a way to honour the elders in your families and to honour your ancestors, this ceremony has lots of meaning. To perform the Libation ceremony, use holy water or alcohol to pour on the ground in east, west, north and south respectively. Someone should be designated to learn and recite the prayers to say during the ceremony.

Kola Nuts

The Kola nut is given to the couple during an African wedding. With the nut symbolizing the happy couple and extended family, it means the couple is willing to help heal together as one. The Kola nut should be shared between the newlyweds and their parents.

Tying the Knot

With this ceremony, the bride and groom are tied around the wrists with a cloth or grass that has been braided for the ceremony. The braided grass symbolizes the unity of marriage. The ceremony is conducted while the wrists are tied.

Crossing Sticks

Use two tall wood sticks that represent life force among the trees and the couple will cross the sticks to represent the unity of their love and start their marriage on the right foot.

Knocking the Door

In this ceremony, the groom will knock on the door of his future in-laws and bring them gifts and requests permission to marry. This ceremony brings the families closer together.

Purple and Gold

Choosing these colours for your wedding colours not only adds fabulous and modern feeling, but it is also an African American wedding tradition because they represent royalty in many African cultures.

Feeding the Family

After the four elements tasting, it’s time to sit down and share a meal with the family. Joining the families is important in the African wedding ceremonies.

Ditching the Diamond

Because many diamonds have been mined in Africa, some brides choose to use a different stone as a symbol of their marriage instead. Ditching the diamond is becoming more popular today.

Kente Cloth

All brides want to have the Kente cloth as part of their wedding. This bright fabric is gold, green, and red in color and is made in Ghana. The groom’s vest can be made from this material or you may see it in the bridesmaid dresses.

 

Japanese weddings

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Shinto is the ethnic religion in Japan and it has a huge impact on the country’s culture and ceremonial traditions. Even today, more than 79% of Japanese people still belong to Shinto temples. Still, a large majority of people in and even outside of Japan are not very familiar with how the religion influences different ceremonies and events in Japan. The same is the case with Japanese wedding traditions that may come as a surprise to many.

The Betrothal/ Engagement

Called the yuino in Japanese, the betrothal ceremony is an exchange of symbolic gifts between the bride’s and groom’s families. The most popular gifts are a seaweed called konbu, which refers to “childbearing woman”; a long piece of hemp in white that represents the wish that both husband and wife will grow old together; and a folding fan that spreads and indicates future growth and wealth. The most common gifts also include a hakama for the groom and an obi for the bride. One of the main gifts in this ceremony is money, which can be £5,000 or more – the money is offered in a shugi-bukuro, a special envelope with gold and silver strings. Ornate rice-paper envelopes are also used to give other gifts.

The Venues

Since most Japanese weddings take place in Shinto temples, the wedding venues are always quite attractive. These locations also feature religious iconography that give the whole function a special feel. Some of the most common are water pavilions, stone dogs, and tall red gates that symbolise the division between the corporeal and spiritual worlds.

San-San-Kudo

This sake sharing ceremony is common for Buddhists as well as Shinto Japanese weddings. It is among the most interesting Japanese wedding traditions for outsiders. There will be three stacked cups of sake and both bride and groom have to drink taking three sips. “Three, three, nine times” – just as the name San-San-Kudo suggests. Ku or 9 means good luck in Japanese culture. So, some believe that the three sips each time represent love, wisdom, and happiness, while others believe they represent earth, heaven, and mankind. Some believe they represent the three couples – the bride and groom, the groom’s parents, and the bride’s parents. However, some believe they represent the biggest human flaws, which are passion, hatred, and ignorance, which the couple will overcome together in life.

Wedding Wardrobe

Something that will always fascinate you in a Japanese wedding is the wedding wardrobe. It is all in white – at least most of the time. The country’s national colors are red and white, and you will notice these same colours in Japanese weddings. While a bride’s gown may be of delicate silk or some other material, the colour is usually white. Sleek evening gowns may come as a surprise to you, but they are quite common. Grooms usually opt for black – they may wear a suit or kimono. At some Japanese weddings, brides wear a white silk material over the bun in their hair – that silk headdress is called a wataboshi and is one of the oldest Japanese wedding traditions.

Speeches

Wedding speeches hold a great place of importance in Japanese wedding ceremonies. Family, friends, teachers, colleagues, and other relatives stand in line and wait for their turn to wish the couple well. These speeches can be moralistic tales about marriage, but they can also be heartfelt messages of love from family and friends.

Gifts for Parents

As you may have gathered, Japanese wedding traditions are often about exchanging gifts. There will be loads of presents for the parents of both the bride and groom. The most common gifts are a toast for the parents, bouquets of flowers, and a personal letter of thanks and love. These simple gestures make Japanese weddings very intimate and special.

Gifts for the Guests

Japanese weddings have a lot available for the guests as well. Brides usually spend up to £50 or even more on favours for their guests. These favours might be a lace bag of sweet almonds and much more.

 

Controversial music pieces

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One area that doesn’t seem to be quite so unique is the wedding ceremony music; many opt for a traditional theme that they have heard before like Mendelssohn’s Wedding March or Pachelbel’s Canon in D. That being said, some of the pieces are a tad controversial. Here’s why!

Mendelssohn’s Wedding March

Although hugely popular, Mendelssohn’s most famous work has proved to be controversial to its literary origins. Mendelssohn was commissioned by Prussian monarch Friedrich Wilhelm IV to compose a number of pieces to accompany various pieces of literature in order to revive a lagging genre in society at the time. In 1843, Mendelssohn was tasked with writing music for Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream and this is where the Wedding March comes from. Why controversial? That particular play features a lot of pagan mythology including magic, fairies and fantasy, of which many in Roman Catholicism are uncomfortable. Is it therefore inappropriate for a Christian wedding ceremony? We don’t have the answer but it’s always best to check.

Schubert’s Ave Maria

Another tune that is popular during the wedding ceremony or as a prelude to the bride’s arrival, Ave Maria is a beautiful piece of music that was originally composed by Schubert for Sir Walter Scott’s Lady of the Lake in 1810. The plot of the story focuses on King James V banishing the Douglas clan to a castle on Loch Katrine and one of the group’s number is Ellen, a daughter who has to live with her exiled father. The initial lyrics have changed over the years to convey a more matrimonial tone, but some fear the lyrics don’t quite go far enough. Some hear them and feel the song is a beautiful hymn to a loving mother while others believe the words to convey the desperate cries of an exiled bride.

Wagner’s Bridal Chorus

Richard Wagner’s Bridal Chorus is perhaps the most well-known music chosen by couples on their wedding day. Known by many as ‘Here Comes the Bride’, we are pretty certain that you’ll have heard the piece before, even if not at a wedding. Why is it controversial? The music was composed as part of Wagner’s opera, Lohengrin and lovers of the operatic music scene may very well be aware of where the piece featured. Although it was used during a wedding scene, the marriage itself was short-lived. Not the omen you’d like on your wedding day! Richard Wagner was also notoriously anti-Semitic, which is another reason you may wish to avoid picking the Bridal Chorus for your wedding ceremony.

No matter which wedding music you opt for on your big day, we advise a couple to choose whatever makes them most happy. Still, it’s interesting to know the provenance of the tunes you might hear!

 

Traditions for weddings

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Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue… You’ve probably had this old wedding rhyme quoted to you ever since you got engaged.

It’s a superstition that you need to have all of the above included on your big day, so you can have a long and happy marriage. And while we don’t think anything’s going to happen to your marriage if you don’t follow these rules, it is a fun way of building some items into your wedding look.

People are definitely going to ask you what items you’ve got on that are old, new, borrowed and blue, so you might as well have something to tell them!

With the trend for vintage looking like it’s not going to go away anytime soon, there are quite a few ‘old’ items that you can incorporate into your wedding look.

We love the idea of wearing your mother’s or grandmother’s jewellery on the big day. It might be a brooch, garter, neckline or a pair of earrings. Maybe you had a christening bracelet you want to wear on your wedding day. Something old doesn’t have to mean clothing or accessories, either. If you’ve an old family cake topper you could use that.

If there’s an old family veil that your mother, aunts or older sisters wore on their big days, ask to borrow that. Wedding veils don’t date too much, so this could be a money-saving item for you, too.

Your something new is most likely to be your wedding dress or your new husband! If you’re recycling a family wedding dress or borrowing one, then what else would be good that’s new? Kate Middleton wore a new pair of diamond earrings on her wedding day to Prince William, her parents had them commissioned especially for her, lucky girl.

In fact, many generous grooms buy their brides-to-be a gift that is presented to them on the morning of their wedding, which might be something like a pearl bracelet, earrings or a necklace.

Alternatively, if you’re not into possessions you could treat yourself to something new that’s going to give you a different look. You could have a brand new look by having a teeth whitening session or have laser eye surgery. Or you could even just buy a new lipstick or makeup if your budget is tight. Just make sure your something new is something practical that you’re going to enjoy in the long term.

Kate Middleton had the ultimate borrowed accessory on her wedding day when the Queen lent her a sparkling vintage diamond tiara. While your new in-laws may not have something quite as valuable to lend you, your mother-in-law may be delighted to lend you a vintage accessory or brooch to decorate your bridal bouquet.

We think wedding accessories are a great thing to borrow if you can. It will make the lender feel that bit closer to you on your big day.

We see a lot of brides-to-be add a bit of blue to their garter as their something blue, but you could choose a more visible blue accessory.

Light blue wedding shoes can look amazing with a traditional wedding dress. You could even opt for a coloured wedding dress it doesn’t have to be in a dramatic shade but pale blues and pinks are right on trend now for wedding gowns.

 

Traditional Church Weddings

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What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Can I get married in any church?

For a Wedding ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

 

Planning a Jewish Wedding

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There are many traditions to uphold, but they are also lots of fun! So don’t worry. From the kidushin to the chuppah, we’ve got you covered. In short, a Jewish wedding is all about love, family, and commitment. They’re a beautiful blend of tradition and romance, and end with a huge party.

The ceremony for a traditional Jewish wedding generally takes place after sundown on Saturdays, or any time on Sundays. The bride and groom are not allowed to eat until after the ceremony is over.

Before the wedding takes place, the ketubah is signed by the groom, in the company of two witnesses. This is a legally binding Jewish contract, and outlines what the groom is expected to give the bride in the marriage. This includes food, clothes, marital relations, friendship, love, and communication, and outlines that all of these things are necessary to a happy union. Many ketubahs are beautiful pieces of art and are framed and hung in the home.

Next, in a tradition known as badeken, the bride’s face is veiled (usually by the groom) and a prayer is said for her. The couple hasn’t seen each other in at least 24 hours (sometimes up to 7 days) at this point, so it’s usually an emotional moment for both the bride and groom.

The ceremony takes place under a chuppah, or wedding canopy, and is officiated by a rabbi. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the bride and groom will build together. When the ceremony is starting, the groom is led into the chuppah by the two fathers, while the bride is led by the two mothers, in a tradition called unterfirers. Finally, the bride circles the groom seven times when she arrives at the chuppah. This may come from Jeremiah 31:22 which says “A woman shall surround a man.” The number seven is said to mean perfection or completeness in the Bible.

A traditional chuppah where the Jewish bride and groom will take their vows.

A traditional Jewish wedding has two distinct parts, with the first known as the erusin (betrothal) or kiddushin (holiness). First, two blessings are given before the betrothal. The first is over a cup of wine, which the couple then tastes. The second is the betrothal blessing. Next, the groom is required to give something of value to the bride (usually a ring). The ring should be a plain gold band, to symbolize the simplicity and purity of their love. Lastly, they both exchange rings and vows.

Finally comes the part that almost everyone is familiar with…the breaking of the glass. After the rings and blessings, the groom crushes the glass (usually wrapped in cloth) with his right foot and guests shout “Mazel tov!” which means “congratulations.” In some contemporary weddings, a light bulb is used instead since it’s easier to break. This signifies that the ceremony is over and is greeted with loud cheers and applause from the crowd.

In order to complete the ceremony, seclusion is necessary, so yichud is practiced. This means leaving the bride and groom alone for 10-20 minutes in a room. It can take place in any room, from the rabbi’s study to a synagogue classroom. Husband and wife take some time away from family and friends to reflect on their new vows and the ceremony.

 

3 Wedding Traditions

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  1. Why Do People Tie Cans to the Back of the Married Couple’s Car?

This tradition actually started during the Tudor period in England. As the bride and groom left in their carriage, wedding guests would throw their shoes at them because it was considered good luck if you hit the vehicle. Today that would be considered wrong, so we tie them to the car instead. And since walking home from a wedding with only one shoe is no fun, people started using tin cans instead.

  1. Why Is It Bad Luck for the Groom to See His Bride on Their Wedding Day?

This common tradition seems sweet, but its origins aren’t exactly tender. For hundreds of years, fathers arranged their daughter’s marriages by offering money to young men. However, if Daddy’s little girl wasn’t that desirable, Daddy might decide to search for prospective grooms in nearby towns, for obvious reasons. When these men showed up on the wedding day—not having seen their future brides before—it was common for some of them to flee the scene. So the tradition that it’s “bad luck” for a man to see his bride before the ceremony really started out as insurance for her dad.

  1. How Did We Get a “Ring Finger”?

The ring finger is not the same for everyone. In some parts of India, wedding rings are worn on the thumb. In 3rd-century Greece, the ring finger was the index finger. But later, the Greeks believed that the third finger on a person’s hand was connected directly to the heart by a route called “the vein of love.” Today’s Western tradition stems from that.

 

Traditional speeches

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Traditionalists will expect a run of speeches after the wedding food, but don’t let that deter you from changing things up. It’s your day, so you have every right to do it your way. If you won’t enjoy making a speech or one of the traditional speakers wouldn’t, then why let the nerves and stresses ruin the celebrations?

Here are four things you can do if you or a member of your bridal party doesn’t want to give a speech.

LOVE LETTERS

Not a fan of speaking in front of a large audience, put pen to paper before your big day to make sure you write all that was important to you. You can then have the wedding speech printed beautifully and include a copy with each place setting. When the time for speeches come, wedding guests will be asked to read their copy.

Rest assured this won’t be lacking the emotion of a live speech, once the sound of pages turning ceased, the smiles and tears will be free flowing! You could also mix and match this approach with a regular speech by using print outs, flip charts or other visual aids to distract attention from you.

STUNT DOUBLES

If you’ve got a willing friend who is more of a public speaker, why not ask them if they’d mind speaking instead? It could be on your behalf or a speech entirely of their own – whatever you prefer. For traditionalists, this will keep your speeches full even if the conventional people don’t deliver them.

NOT CAMERA SHY?

If it’s more the ‘here and now’ element of giving a wedding speech that worries you, why not pre-record your speech instead? We think the best wedding speeches balance thoughtful stories and anecdotes that you’ve planned ahead with a touch of improvisation on the day to inject the intense emotions you’ll doubtless be feeling.

Don’t worry, though, because we’ve got just the solution to make this happen for pre-recorded speeches too! Once you’ve hooked up the projector and played the speech, simply raise a toast with a few in-the-moment (romantic!) words for your new spouse afterwards. Best of both worlds? We think so!

RAISE A GLASS

For a more relaxed approach, why not ditch one or more speeches altogether and consider an alternative instead? Simply raise a glass of your chosen tipple, toast to the day, to your love, to each other, and you’ll create just as heart-warming an effect as the traditional counterpart would, without any of the stress, formality or fuss. Simple!!!