Tips for the wedding speech

A wedding is the best day of your life if you are the bride and groom but there are many guests in attendance who are secretly getting more nervous as the day progresses. You see, there are a lot of people in the world who hate public speaking and unfortunately, a wedding is full of them. Whether you’re the groom, best man, maid of honour or father of the bride we’ve compiled a host of tips to help make your wedding speech the best one on the day.

Don’t Improvise

Sure, you may be funny in the pub with your mates but this is a big day and requires preparation. There can be a number of things you’ll want to say and there’s nothing worse than somebody given a microphone to speak, who ends up dithering their way through it. Think of it a little like an interview – you should go in with a prepared speech and if something comes to mind halfway through, by all means say it but don’t go too far off script. By practicing in the mirror or reciting it before bed, you should find a place where you feel happiest constantly rehearsing your speech. Don’t start planning a wedding speech too late either; the more time you have to plan it, the better it should be. If in doubt, have a trusted friend read it over to you and offer advice. Relax, you got this.

Humour is a Must

This is primarily aimed at the Best Man as it’s their speech which is the one most people look forward to after the dinner. A few jokes are great as it makes the audience like you and once the laughter flows, you’ll grow in confidence as your speech continues. Although yes, you might well be talking to a crowd of over a hundred people, everybody is wanting you to do well and the drink is flowing, meaning it’s as nice an audience as you’ll ever have. Again, if you’re unsure about some jokes, have a friend read them over. Most people know somebody who’s naturally funny as well; tap them up for possible areas where you can add in moments of humour.

Make it Emotional

There’s no doubting it, weddings are emotional places. The parents on the top table are often well into their second packet of travel Kleenex by the time you get to the speeches and if you tug at the heart strings during your speech, you can rest assured that they’ll be onto their third by the time you sit back down. Move from humorous anecdotes to more heartfelt contemplations on love and what the newlyweds have found. This blend of deep thoughtfulness and lighter moments combines to create a truly captivating speech.

Don’t Overdo It

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from weddings over the years, it’s that there definitely is ‘too much of a good thing’. Nobody wants to be sat watching a speech and urging it to end. Keep it clear and concise and ideally around about five minutes maximum. If there’s a lull in the speech then the audience will feel it and so will you. By all means pepper your speech with memories and hopes for the future, but by keeping it short and sweet, your speech will be remembered fondly for having no ‘fluff’ around the edges.

If In Doubt, Leave it Out

It’s a classic adage, but if it rings true anywhere then it’s at a wedding. So whether you’re pondering putting in that one anecdote that might disgruntle the bride or groom, or perhaps if you’re not entirely sure whether a joke is appropriate for the friends and family in attendance, then go with your gut and leave it on the cutting room floor. Sure, it might be a classic tale from your youth or have a genuinely funny punchline, but it’s just not worth the trouble if it doesn’t come across well. Besides, you can always share it with individuals once the entertainment has begun.

East London wedding venue

If you’re a fan of the capital or yourself and your partner were both born in London then it makes sense to want to get married here. As any Londoner will tell you though, you face a big choice between picking north, south, east, west or central London for your big day. Not sure where to get wed? We highlight the virtues of East London.

It’s Cheaper

Ask anybody who knows anything about London and they’ll be able to tell you that the East End is the cheapest area of London. That’s not to say it doesn’t have nice venues – there are numerous ones in Hackney and Shoreditch – but it’s simply that most city types tend to head north, south or west in search of their perfect wedding venue. Who knows why this might be, but if you search around the East End a little bit, you can get the best venue for your money!

It’s Cooler

Everybody knows that the East End is where it’s at when it comes to cool places and cool things to do. Shoreditch is renowned for being extremely arty and appealing to a younger crowd with amazing food and a great vibe. Throw in the up and coming areas like Dalston and Clapton and the completely regenerated Stratford, which underwent a massive facelift for the London Olympics in 2012, and you’ve got yourself a whole host of venues and cool locales to choose from in which to exchange vows.

The Culture

No matter what anyone says about East London, you can never accuse it of not having a clear sense of culture. The thing about East Londoners is that they always have a story and if there’s a problem, you’re in the best place to solve it. Thanks to the unique makeup of areas like Whitechapel, Aldgate East, Bethnal Green and Mile End, you’ll have absolutely no problem sourcing that one material or stray ribbon that you require for either dressing your wedding venue or doing your hair! East London is full to the brim with kind souls selling a little bit of everything and just like point one states, you won’t be bankrupted in the process!

Suppliers Love It

From the caterers to the entertainment, everybody loves working in the industry but there are times that things can feel very similar from one day to the next. Not so in East London! By arranging your wedding in a slightly different way and holding it in a slightly different area to the norm, you can rest assured that all of the suppliers involved will feel rejuvenated and keen to tackle a different project to what they are used to. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve been on ‘auto-pilot’ but it stands to reason that the suppliers will go the extra mile for you on your wedding day by incorporating a sense of fun into the proceedings.

The Partying Never Stops

Arguably this might be more for your friends and family than yourself but if they’re a fun-loving bunch then they’ll probably want to continue singing and dancing long after you’re gone. The best bit about East London is that it caters to younger people and even has a 24 hour bagel shop. What more could you want? So long after your reception is over and hours after you’ve checked into your super nice hotel for the evening, you can sleep calmly knowing that your Auntie and best mate from school will be able to find a great karaoke place in the early hours!

Your ‘ex’ wedding guest

Planning your wedding guest list can be stressful enough, without the added dilemma of whether to invite your friends or ex your husband to be does not approve of.

Be sensitive

Ask yourself why specifically you want that person at your wedding. Often people invite people because they are part of a friendship network and if everyone else is going then why not invite them? It is not unusual to stay good friends with an ex-partner, and inviting people to your wedding is a lovely gesture!

Honestly is the best policy

Being completely honest with your other half is important from the very beginning, and the sooner you approach the subject, the better. Make him feel completely comfortable, and ensure that you aren’t demanding your ex has to come, but rather asking if he would be happy with the idea. An ex might feel snubbed if they’re not invited, but in some cases, people may not have been invited to spare their feelings.

Think sensibly

Make sure you think about how you and your ex ended, was it friendly? Was it recent? Worst case scenario is your ex ruining your big day by drinking far too much and saying something offensive. People should only invite people to weddings if they think that person will be a positive presence at the wedding.

Your husband-to-be

There is a chance that your h2b will say no. It is as much your day as his, so it is only fair that you take his feelings into consideration! After all, your ex is an ex for a reason. Every case is individual, sometimes we have enough trouble when the couples’ parents are divorced or remarried without the added pressure of exes being invited too! As long as the couple have discussed it and have both agreed that they are comfortable with it, then there is no problem!

Dos and Don’ts

  • Do invite your ex with a guest

  • Don’t spend a long time chatting with your ex

  • Do sit your ex with people he or she gets on with

  • Don’t dance with your ex

  • Do take control of the situation and keep your h2b as busy as possible!

  • Don’t introduce them to people as your ‘ex’

Keep calm, you’re only getting married!

Weddings are a pretty big deal and they can be kind of scary if you’re feeling anxious about being a bride. Are you stressing about being the centre of attention? Dreading speaking to wedding suppliers and vendors? Avoiding all the nosy questions? Don’t worry, we’ve found a way to cope with the stress of it all…

Don’t stress about getting every detail right.

Getting engaged is pretty amazing, but once the initial excitement is over, it’s not uncommon for brides to feel overwhelmed. There’s a huge amount of pressure for everything to look perfect and to get everything ‘right’. And then you get the added anxiety as you know you should feel happy about planning the most important day of your life, but in fact, when you think about it your heart drops. Is that normal? Of course it is. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad bride or you’re getting cold feet – it’s a pretty stressful time so be kind to yourself.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If your friends and family offer a helping hand, accept it! Not only will they enjoy being part of the wedding planning process, it’ll make your job a whole lot easier. If no-one is offering, ask for help! People often don’t want to offer help as they’re worried about getting in the way, but they’re usually more than willing to help out if needed.

Don’t obsess about everything.

You will probably become a little bit of a bridezilla in the lead-up to your wedding day. Whilst this is completely acceptable, your groom-to-be may not agree. In fact, chances are your groom is going to get the wrong idea and think you’re terrified of marrying him. Make it clear to your husband to be that you’re freaking out about the catering or flowers – not about getting married.

If you don’t like being centre of attention.

If you’re a pretty anxious person anyway, being in the spotlight probably isn’t your idea of fun. However, it is a vital part of any wedding. Even if you’re dreading being the centre of attention in the lead-up to the big day, when it comes to it you might actually surprise yourself! You’re in the limelight for all the right things, so simply make the most of it. If you really can’t face walking down the aisle on your own with all eyes on you, why not break tradition and get your hubby to walk down the aisle with you?

It’s ok to be selfish

It’s probably the one time when it’s socially acceptable to be incredibly selfish – especially the week before the wedding. It’s completely ok to say no, ignore the constantly ringing phone, or conveniently ‘forget’ to reply to that text. Don’t even feel bad about it. Direct it to a helper, such as your maid of honour or your mum. They’re here to help out!

Everything is going to be ok.

When the big day arrives, you’ll probably be a bag of nerves mixed with excitement. But as soon as you walk down the aisle into your hubby’s arm, everything will fit into place and you’ll forget about everyone else in the room. Your wedding day will whizz by, so make the most of it and enjoy every second.

If you really are getting cold feet, make sure you’re marrying your best friend!

Don’t panic

We’re sure you already know that wedding planning has its ups, and its downs. Here are the signs that wedding planning has got a bit too much for you!!!

Taking over your life

With it being a day that most brides-to-be have dreamed about since they were a little girl, it’s no wonder that planning your wedding will take up a lot of your time. Even if you’re not actively out shopping for it or actively getting those DIY tasks done, you’ll find yourself subconsciously ‘favouriting’ all sorts of articles and shopping searches so you can come back to them later. Even your iPod that you plug in on the way to work is filled with ceremony classics to help you pick out your playlist.

The one becomes not the one

If you’re starting to question the magical feeling you had when you found ‘the one’, you’ve been thinking too much about it. When the dream-dress-doubt creeps in, it’s time to get a grip! It’s a common thing for brides to feel in the run up to their wedding – they want to look and feel their best after all – but get yourself through the doubting stage, and that magical feeling will return when you put it on. Then you’ll be wondering how on earth you ever thought it wasn’t the one!

Goodbye wedding diet

Sometimes brides and grooms-to-be fancy going on a diet or a mission to get into shape before their big day, and that’s okay! Healthy eating and taking up jogging is all around good for you and we totally recommend it to not only look your best, but also feel and be your best (but no silly dieting please!). But when the stress kicks in, so do the carb and sugar cravings, and before you know it: your head is lodged in the back of the cupboard trying the find that secret stash of Mars Bars you hid away from the healthy-you.

Your friends stop contacting

Suddenly, conversation becomes just you talking. Why aren’t they replying your WhatsApp’s, texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, emails or tweets? Just why? Because maybe, just maybe, your predominant conversation topic – your wedding – is getting a little too much.

Can the honeymoon hurry up?

Talking of a little break: the honeymoon! You just cannot stop thinking about the honeymoon. The happiness of the thought of just utter relaxation and having nothing to worry about is so much that you even start to curse the wedding because it’s getting in the way of it! It’s the one obstacle between you and that sunbed.

You’re ticking all the boxes.

If you’re ticking any of these boxes of 10 signs that you are an un-cool bride to be, you only need a quick reality check and you’ll see the monster you’re turning into!

Wedding costs

If you have decided to get Married, have you really sat down and thought about costs? Whether money is no object or if you are on a budget you may want to consider some costs.

Here we break down what each part of the Wedding costs and hopefully keep you on track to what needs to be spent on your big day.

As a guide, here are the average amounts that Brides readers spend. (Of course, it’s up to you where you decide to save or splurge!)

  • Wedding venue: £2,223

  • Reception venue: £4,189

  • Catering: £3,063

  • Photography/video: £1,399

  • Flowers: £560

  • Wedding Cake: £296

  • Entertainment: £682

  • Dress: £1,340

  • Shoes: £107

  • Stationery: £240

  • Headdress/veil: £108

  • Attendants’ outfits: £465

  • Mother-of-the-bride outfit: £337

  • Groom’s outfit: £313

  • Beauty: £220

  • Engagement Ring: £2,451

  • Wedding rings: £647

  • Other wedding jewellery: £191

  • Honeymoon: £3,931

  • Wedding Gift List: £1,954

  • Total: £24,716

If this seems rather expensive to you, there are many ways in which you can cut back and have the Wedding of your dreams. You can have your dream ceremony and then cut the costs by going to a pub and having a buffet. If the pub has a big garden (weather permitting)  can have a band in the garden and dance the night away. This option would be cheaper than a reception venue.

When buying your wedding dress, could it be borrowed, or bought second hand?

Could your make your own invitations?

There’s a lot you can cut back on which won’t break the bank.

A Whole Day Of Music

Starting with the wedding ceremony, a piper is traditional to play the bride in and out of the church. A string quartet or harpist are common choices to provide a beautiful musical backdrop during the wedding ceremony and immediately afterwards whilst photos are taken.

Your wedding drinks reception. A jazz or swing band is an ideal choice to provide light background music during the afternoon reception, helping to settle guests and create an exciting atmosphere. It is also quite common for the string quartet from your ceremony to continue playing during the afternoon reception.

Evening wedding reception. And what evening reception would be complete without a top quality wedding party band or DJ? Rock and pop bands are by far the most popular choices, with soul, disco, salsa and jive offering something a little different.

DJs are a cost effective solution if a band is out of your budget but are also often booked as well as a band to fill in the gaps between the bands performances. Also, ask if the band themselves can DJ in between sets as this is very often possible.

Don’t just stop at wedding music though as all manner of wedding entertainment can be arranged. From top caricaturists and table magicians to entertain your guests while they mingle, to traditional dancers and stage hypnotists, there’s no end to the fun that you can arrange.

Popular first dance songs

Your wedding is going to be one of the happiest of your life. Unless you’re taking part in Don’t Tell the Bride, that’s just a guaranteed fact. A big part of planning your wedding day is that all important first dance and deciding which song you will share with your new husband or bride. Do you want to go for a classic, a current top 40? Here to offer up some inspiration in the form of the most popular first dance wedding songs.

Before we list them here, we feel we should point out that this is as close to scientific as it gets because the data comes from Spotify, who analysed over 12,000 wedding playlists on their streaming service to find out just what newlyweds are dancing to. Without further ado then, in order, here is the global list of the most popular first dance wedding songs.

You’ll notice that Ed Sheeran has two songs in the top ten, whilst ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ features twice, sang by two different artists.

“Thinking Out Loud” – Ed Sheeran

“At Last” – Etta James

“Can’t Help Falling In Love” – Elvis Presley & the Jordanaires

“Marry Me” – Train

“Tenerife Sea” – Ed Sheeran

“You Are the Best Thing” – Ray LaMontagne

“First Day of My Life” – Bright Eyes

“Make You Feel My Love” – Adele

“Everything” – Michael Bublé

“Lucky” – Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

“Can’t Help Falling in Love” – Ingrid Michaelson

“Better Together” – Jack Johnson

“God Gave Me You” – Blake Shelton

“Come Away With Me” – Norah Jones

“The Luckiest” – Ben Folds

Perfect venues in London

Your wedding venue is another way to make the exchanging of vows a truly personal experience. Here we look some  venues that we absolutely adore.

Cutty Sark

Some venues are beautiful and historic, but not many venues are beautiful, historic and used to move. That is the case however, with the gorgeous Cutty Sark, one of only three remaining original composite construction (wooden hull on an iron frame) clipper ships from the 19th century. Sat upon a permanent dry dock in Greenwich, this is a venue that many might not first think about when planning their wedding (or even events in general) but as soon as the idea is mooted, you’ll be hard pressed to forget it. A space that is surprisingly flexible when it comes to weddings (dinner, entertainment…both are possible!), this is perfect for a couple who perhaps have a seafaring background or love the iconic, historic and unique!

Hedsor House

Some venues are beautiful and historic, but not many venues are beautiful, historic and used to move. That is the case however, with the gorgeous Cutty Sark, one of only three remaining original composite construction (wooden hull on an iron frame) clipper ships from the 19th century. Sat upon a permanent dry dock in Greenwich, this is a venue that many might not first think about when planning their wedding (or even events in general) but as soon as the idea is mooted, you’ll be hard pressed to forget it. A space that is surprisingly flexible when it comes to weddings (dinner, entertainment…both are possible!), this is perfect for a couple who perhaps have a seafaring background or love the iconic, historic and unique!

Hedsor House

We’re heading back to Greenwich to highlight this venue, the centrepiece of Maritime Greenwich, which is listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Not bad! Used by the Royal Navy up until 1998, the Old Royal Naval College is now free to visit, so you could perhaps enjoy a tour whilst imagining walking down the aisle in such a gorgeous venue. The focal point of this architectural masterpiece is undoubtedly the Painted Hall, which is always a majestic sight no matter how many times you see it. A fantastic back drop for the beginning of your marriage.

Asylum Chapel

When you first heard the word ‘asylum’, you might not think that it’d be the perfect venue for your wedding day. But if you’re after a rustic feel to your big day, then it’s probably the best choice you could make with the Asylum Chapel offering a large space for a multitude of guests, exposed brickwork beyond your wildest dream and expectations, and a stripped back ceiling that exposes the beams above.

Somerset House

One of the most popular places in London, the grounds of Somerset House are a sumptuous setting for a wedding, especially in summer when the fountains will be on and it’s possible for newlyweds to walk through them for their wedding photos! A number of packages are available for your big day, with many couples booking for the vows rather than for the whole day. Whichever you decide to do though, rest assured that you will undoubtedly have a wedding photo album to die for!

Gibson Hall

A stunning converted banking hall, Gibson Hall is a gorgeously converted wedding venue in the heart of the City of London that comes complete with a secluded garden, which may be used for drinks receptions in the wonderful summer weather! Able to accommodate large wedding parties as well as small, it is a beautifully romantic venue that can be lit in a stunning way. Well worth a look!

Kew Gardens

One of the most popular wedding venues, Kew Gardens is a must for anyone interested in flowers and gardens, not least because it is a World Heritage site of outstanding natural beauty! The venue allows a multitude of buildings to be available to you for your big day including The Princess of Wales Conservatory, Cambridge Cottage, the Nash Conservatory and the Orangery (pictured), all of which offer an elegant setting in which to be married.

Involve your guests in your big day

Wedding ceremonies are all about sharing. While the big day ultimately belongs to you, the couple getting hitched, it’s also a special and significant moment for the people who know and love you best. So, how can you involve your guests to make your wedding day into a truly shared experience for everyone?

Ceremonial rituals

For centuries, people have used rituals to help cement their unions. One relatively new wedding ritual is the lighting of the unity candle, where close family members of the betrothed couple light a separate candle each before the ceremony. The newlyweds then take their respective candles and bring them together to light one single flame.

In a twist to include everyone in your new union, you could hold a version of this ceremony in reverse, letting each guest light a candle of their own from your united flame.

Confetti throwing

Showering confetti over the happy couple is another time-honoured wedding ritual. Make sure everyone is prepared for the big moment by handing out confetti dispensers like wands or cannons to all your guests. (This is a job that you can delegate to a trustworthy member of the wedding party)! Alternatively, why not set up a ‘confetti bar’ beforehand, so that everyone can mix and match their own unique concoction?

Music mixtape

Once you’re on the dancefloor, you’ll want everyone to come and join the party. Why not make everyone feel included by playing one song for each guest? (You can ask them to nominate their chosen track when they RSVP to your invitation). The DJ can announce any special dedications or significant songs with comments from the nominator. The mixtape approach will make your reception into a truly communal experience that everyone will appreciate… and they’ll have no excuse not to get up on their feet and boogie!

Photo opportunities

Posing for wedding photos is the perfect opportunity to get everyone involved while creating some stunning shots! You could set up an aerial shot and get everyone to stand in formation to make a heart shape or a word. Or if you have suitable space, why not lead everyone in a procession around the grounds of your wedding venue? It’ll be a special, shared experience to cherish, and you’ll be able to treasure some ‘action shots’ of all your guests together.