Tag Archives: church

Get to know your Registrar

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If there is one wedding vendor you’d really like to connect with on a personal level, it should be your Registrar. This is the person who will legally join you and your future spouse together. They’ll coach you through reciting the special vows that will help you express your love and commitment, and they’ll possibly even impart important wedding advice that you’ll keep with you forever.

That said, we thought it would be helpful to provide a list of five questions you should ask a potential Wedding Registrar to be sure you’re hiring the best person to work with you. Here we go:

1. What are your credentials?

You’ll want to work with an experienced Registrar who can provide testimonials from other happy couples. They’ll need to be familiar with the marriage laws and requirements where you’re getting married,

2. Can we customize our ceremony?

If your Registrar works directly with a wedding venue that does numerous weddings every day, they may stick to a set “script” for every wedding and may not allow customizations. If you want to write your own vows or include particular readings, make sure the potential Registrar allows it.
3. Do you attend/run the rehearsal?

Some Registrars include a rehearsal and others don’t. Most charge an additional fee for it, which you’ll want outlined in your service contract. If there is an event coordinator find out whether they or your Registrar will run the rehearsal.
4. Have you ever made a mistake during a ceremony?

This is a tricky question, as most people will be tempted to say no. But we’re all human and make mistakes, right? The key thing to look for here is if they can admit they’ve made mistakes and how they responded when they did.
5. Why are you a ceremony Registrar?

This is perhaps the most important question you can ask a potential Registrar. Why do they do what they do? Does their answer tally well with the reasons you’re getting married? You can get a great sense of their personality based on their response.

There are other questions you can ask to gauge the Registrar’s character, such as what they considered the most romantic thing they’ve ever seen at a wedding, but the above questions should give you the answers you need to determine if the person you’re interviewing is the right for you.

Church Wedding

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With more UK wedding venues available than ever, saying your vows in a church is no longer the norm. But for many couples, a church wedding is still an essential and traditional part of the big day.

So with around a third of UK couples still choosing a religious ceremony, here’s our beginner’s guide to booking a wedding ceremony in church:

What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

NB: Marriage and Civil Partnership laws are changing from March 2015 when it comes to giving notice. Find out more!

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

Can I get married in any church?

For a ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Do I have to be religious to have a church wedding?

Not necessarily. The Church of England says anyone is “welcome to have a Church of England wedding, regardless of your beliefs… as vicars understand that spiritual beliefs are complex and varied”.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

How much will a church ceremony cost?

The legal fee for marrying in 2015 costs £486 in England and around £500 in Wales, which covers expenses for calling the banns, the certificate, vicar and church. Extras such as having an organist, bells, choir or flowers — as well as heating — will incur an additional cost. In Scotland and Northern Ireland there are no fixed costs.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

Can I decorate a church with my own flowers?

Yes. Most churches will be able to recommend someone, but you can also use your own florist. It’s worth discussing any plans for large displays with the vicar to check they won’t cause any problems during the ceremony.

What happens during a church wedding rehearsal?

The rehearsal is a chance for the bride and groom, as well as bridesmaids, the best man and any family and friends who are involved in the ceremony, to run through the service and make sure everyone knows what to expect.

Will my guests be allowed to throw confetti outside the church?

The rules on throwing confetti vary from church to church so it’s worth asking whether or not confetti is allowed so that you can inform your guests in advance. If confetti is not allowed then the church might allow a natural or bio-degradable substitute.

Can I have my reception in the church hall?

Yes, although it depends on the individual church and their facilities. However you can also arrange the reception at another venue if you prefer.

Traditional Church Weddings

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What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Can I get married in any church?

For a Wedding ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

 

Jobs for the Father of the Bride

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When planning the perfect wedding, the father of the bride duties can sometimes be a neglected part of the big day and it’s easy to put their priorities on the back-burner and concentrate on different priorities. However, he’s a big part of your wedding day and should be made to feel like it. Here are some top tips to get him involved in your big day!

Father of the bride duties

  • Traditionally the father of the bride pays for the majority of the wedding, although the groom’s family are likely to contribute.
  • Ensuring that wedding cars arrive on time.
  • Getting the bride to the ceremony on time. The father’s main job on the day is to ensure that his daughter arrives at the ceremony in good time.
  • At church ceremonies the father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle before handing her over to her groom. This is a tradition that many fathers and brides choose to keep at civil marriages.
  • The father of the bride should thank guests for coming, offer some humorous and touching stories about his daughter’s life, and finally welcome his son-in-law in to the family. Then he offers a toast to the bride and groom.
  • The bride’s parents are the hosts of the wedding breakfast and reception. In a receiving line your mum and dad are traditionally the first two people to greet guests. Afterwards, your dad should mingle, and make sure that everyone has a full glass.
  • Traditionally last to leave, the father of the bride ensures that everyone leaves the venue safely, all suppliers are paid and happy, and makes sure that any wedding gifts and valuables are removed and stored safely.

How to do Wedding Planning on a Budget?

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First things first – set a limit

If you want to plan a wedding for £10,000 then you may want to plan your budget like this:

  • £3,000 for venue
  • £2,500 for catering
  • £1,500 for drinks
  • £1,500 for dress and suits
  • £500 for transport
  • £300 for a cake
  • £700 for a photographer

Separating the budget accordingly means that you know where the money is allocated and it gives you a little bit of leeway to adjust your price on each aspect. One thing we would always say is never hire a budget photographer – everything else may just be for the day, but those wedding photos will last forever!

Pick the Cheapest Time to Get Married

When you decide to get married can make an even bigger impact than where you decide to get married. Choosing to get married in the middle of the week or on a Sunday, compared to a Saturday wedding could save you a small fortune. Similarly, picking a date in Spring, Autumn or Winter will also see big savings coming in when compared to a summer wedding.

Choose Your Venue Carefully

You can have some amazing budget weddings if you pick the right location – often, somewhere you wouldn’t typically consider. There are lots of venues around the country that are licensed to hold marriage ceremonies, why not pick something a little bit different?

This holds two benefits really – 1 your special day is truly special in a unique location and 2 these venues tend to be a lot more affordable than places which are booked up years in advance! Some of the best budget wedding venues in the UK are still yet to be discovered… you could just be one of the first people married there.

Personalisation

Budget doesn’t mean ‘stock’, in fact it is very different to that. Taking the reins and deciding to add or remove certain parts of the wedding package is a great way to save money. For example, making your own table decorations could end up saving you around £500 plus you have the added bonus of spending time together making them yourself!

Scrap the DJ

Honestly, cheap wedding DJs are the worst! Instead of forking out your hard earned cash on someone who will just play a generic wedding music playlist, why not create your own playlist with all your favourite songs? You probably already have one – plug this into some speakers and you’re good to go!

Church Weddings

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With around a third of UK couples still choosing a religious ceremony, here’s our beginner’s guide to planning a wedding ceremony in church: 

What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar. 

NB: Marriage and Civil Partnership laws are changing from March 2015 when it comes to giving notice. Find out more!

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

Can I get married in any church?

For a ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Do I have to be religious to have a church wedding?

Not necessarily. The Church of England says anyone is “welcome to have a Church of England wedding, regardless of your beliefs… as vicars understand that spiritual beliefs are complex and varied”.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

How much will a church ceremony cost?

The legal fee for marrying in 2016 costs £486 in England and around £500 in Wales, which covers expenses for calling the banns, the certificate, vicar and church. Extras such as having an organist, bells, choir or flowers — as well as heating — will incur an additional cost. In Scotland and Northern Ireland there are no fixed costs.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However, it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

Can I decorate a church with my own flowers?

Yes. Most churches will be able to recommend someone, but you can also use your own florist. It’s worth discussing any plans for large displays with the vicar to check they won’t cause any problems during the ceremony.

What happens during a church wedding rehearsal?

The rehearsal is a chance for the bride and groom, as well as bridesmaids, the best man and any family and friends who are involved in the ceremony, to run through the service and make sure everyone knows what to expect.

Will my guests be allowed to throw confetti outside the church?

The rules on throwing confetti vary from church to church so it’s worth asking whether or not confetti is allowed so that you can inform your guests in advance. If confetti is not allowed, then the church might allow a natural or bio-degradable substitute.  

Can I have my reception in the church hall?

Yes, although it depends on the individual church and their facilities. However, you can also arrange the reception at another venue if you prefer.

Ideas for beautiful wedding venues

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Choosing a wedding venue is almost always on the top of a couple’s ‘to do’ list.  This is the place that you will remember forever, it is the place where you will kiss your new husband/wife for the first time, it is the place where you will take your children and your grand-children back to, all to show them where you had the happiest day of your life. 

So a wedding venue needs to be characterful with its own qualities that make it desirable for a couple, but it must also to be enough of a blank canvas that a couple can put their own stamp on it.

Kew Gardens is a beautiful venue.  There are a number of beautiful and completely different areas within the venue of Kew Garden, that offer endless possibilities for the big day

There is the cosy Cambridge Cottage that can hold up to 80 guests for both ceremony and wedding reception.  The Cottage is a former royal residence and has a clean and fresh décor, which allows the Bride and Groom to choose any particular colour to use throughout the wedding, happily knowing that it will not clash with anything will always look perfect.  The cottage is steeped in traditional horticulture with floral pictures on the walls, which some couples do like to combine with their own ideas; using very bright and expressive flowers to decorate the venue, or use flower names as table names.

With entertainment, the light and elegant tone of Cambridge Cottage lends itself perfectly to string instruments, particular the harp or string quartet for a ceremony or reception.  The cottage backs on to the gardens and the sound of a string quartet drifting through the air could not be more perfect for a warm, summer wedding.

For the evening, the intimacy of Cambridge Cottage means that either a 4-piece band or a DJ works really well and creates a flawless party atmosphere.

Within the Grounds of the Gardens there are also the 3 beautiful Conservatories – The Nash Conservatory is a nineteenth century glasshouse that has started being used for Civil Ceremonies this year and can hold up to 200 guests.  The Nash Conservatory is used in conjunction with The Orangery, which is available for evening hire for up to 400 guests for a cocktail reception

The Princess of Wales Conservatory can either be used by itself as a cocktail reception venue for up to 250 guests or in combination with The Orangery or Cambridge Cottage, as a venue for pre or post dinner drinks.  The Conservatory itself was commissioned in 1982 and was named after Princess Augusta, the founder of Kew.  Opened in 1987 by Diana, Princess of Wales, the Princess of Wales Conservatory is the most complex glasshouse at Kew, containing ten computer-controlled climatic zones, which only adds to this completely unique and interesting venue.

So with more than a few options for Weddings and Civil Ceremonies, it’s a great place to suggest wedding entertainment for – so many different acts work in the different spaces that the possibilities are endless.

Cringe-worthy moments

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While most aspects of planning a wedding are really fun and exciting, there are a few moments, which may leave you feeling uncomfortable. There are also aspects of the day that may make you feel a bit anxious. 

Telling your friend, she’s not your bridesmaid

Having to tell one of your friends that she isn’t your bridesmaid is probably one of the biggest hurdles in the planning stage of the wedding. The best way to let her know that you still care about her is to tell her quietly and ask her to do something else at the wedding, for example make a speech.

Inviting work colleagues to the wedding

If you don’t want to invite everyone in the office to your wedding day, that’s absolutely fine! It’s your day, just invite your closest work friends and be discreet. Ask them to keep quiet about it too and if you decide to invite everyone, try not to leave one or two people out.

Inviting your mum or mother in-law to the hen do

Inviting your mum to your hen do can be a hard decision. If you feel like you won’t be able to let your hair down, relax and have fun then don’t invite her. An alternative can be to do something a bit more formal to celebrate with your mum rather than taking her out with your friends. It’s important to make sure she doesn’t feel left out though.

Messing up the first dance

Every bride fears messing up the first dance, whether that means stepping on the groom’s toes or falling to the floor. It is definitely something that should be practiced a few times, it doesn’t have to be choreographed but take some time with it. If you really can’t dance, then just simply sway with each other and invite everyone to join the dance floor as soon as possible.

Going to the ladies’ room in your dress

This may be something that’s overlooked when choosing your perfect wedding dress, but essential on the wedding night. This is one of the main reasons you should be really close with your bridesmaids, it’s essentially their job to help you with potential problems like this on the night.

Photo angles

It’s a given that on your wedding day there will be hundreds of photos taken of you and you may be worried about not looking good. Try not to worry too much about this, you’ve paid a wedding photographer to take photos of you and they’ll know what angles look the most flattering on you. You can always have a chat with the photographer to ask for the photo you’ve always been dreaming about for the mantelpiece though.

Deciding between lingerie or supportive underwear

This can be a tricky decision because you want to feel the best on your wedding day but wearing tummy-tucking underwear with a non-VPL will be really forgiving when you’re wearing your dress. It’s definitely something to keep in mind; you’ll always have the chance to change quickly after the wedding reception.

Dealing with family feuds

Most of the time, relatives will be civil with each other at a wedding even if they don’t get on with each other. They love you and are there for you on your big day, they won’t be focusing on each other. If you are worried however, then make sure they aren’t sat on the same table or sat near each other at the ceremony. The more distance that can be created between them, the better.

Location location

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Whether you plan on getting married in a church and transferring your guests to a separate reception venue, or plan on having the ceremony and evening party all in the same place, it’ll need to be a suitable location. When considering a location, most couples pick somewhere that is either near to where they currently live, or a place where either the bride or groom grew up. This is especially important to remember if you want a church wedding, because you will need to either still be living within the Parish or have a family connection to that church.

You should also keep in mind how long it takes to get to either venue (church or reception) because this might have an impact on your day. You should also consider if it’s a little off-the-beaten track, because you don’t want your guests getting in a flap and running late if they can’t find the place. Similarly, if your ceremony venue and evening venue are separate, will you be putting on transport to transfer guests? This will need to be budgeted for.

Finally, if the location is in the rural countryside, what are the options for guest accommodation? You need to know this in advance, because it’s courteous to include overnight options in with your invitations.

Savvy spending

Budget is a key factor for most couples when considering which venue to book. Before you put down any money for deposits, it’s worth chatting to the in-house co-ordinator to see if there are any deals or offers they can gift you for choosing to go with them. Sometimes they may give you the bridal suite and some complimentary rooms, or offers on welcome drinks and canapés. They might also be able to recommend suppliers that they regularly work with, who could offer discounts based on the repeat custom that the venue provides.

Also, try to visit the venue at least once if they’re hosting a fayre or wedding show, so you can see the venue all dressed up as it would be on your wedding day. Finally, if you can plan your entire wedding in under six months you might get a bargain on a last-minute package. Some venues drop their venues by as much as half the price, so if you’re a super organised bride it could be an ideal way to secure your dream venue at a fraction of the cost!

Whatever venue or theme you pick for your dream wedding, we can help you the whole way – from the moment you decide your venue, through to your bridal look for the actual day, and much, much more!

Some easy choices for your Wedding venue

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Choosing your wedding venue will undoubtedly be one of the biggest decisions you’ll make as an engaged couple, so it’s good to start considering your options right away. If you’re not sure where to hold your wedding, we’ve got some top tips to help you decide…

The venue you pick will determine the amount of guests you can invite, the location of your Wedding and, of course, the theme and styling, too. You need to allocate a good proportion of your wedding planning time and budget to finding your dream venue because there are so many different options to consider and look at. From manor houses to stand-alone tipis, there really is something out there to suit every kind of couple, it’s just a matter of making your own decision.

Your day, your way

First and foremost, decide on the type of wedding you want. Next, set a budget with careful consideration as to how much you can afford for your dream wedding venue. You should also discuss with your partner whether exclusivity is important to you – if it is, this might make it costlier.

Have you dreamed about this day your whole life, and can’t imagine getting married without everyone you know to watch it? If so, then start looking at country house wedding venues with large capacities. If you’d prefer a wedding more intimate and low-key, just surrounded by close friends and family, then perhaps a garden marquee is more your thing? Once you know what best suits you as a couple, you can then start writing your guest list and begin searching for places to suit your requirements.

When to book

It’s perfectly normal for couples to book their chosen wedding venue 12-18 months before their wedding date, giving them plenty of time to plan their perfect day. The big popular wedding venues up and down the country get booked up a long time in advance during the peak, summer wedding venue, so we advise that you book as soon as you’ve found ‘the one’.

That said, if you are planning a wedding in just a few months, there’s plenty of last-minute bargains to be had! If you’re planning a wedding in just a few months, you might get lucky and be able to book a date at the last minute due to a cancellation or last-minute availability. Once your wedding date is secured and you’ve paid the deposit you can then move on to considering how you’ll style it.

Pick a theme

The theme of your wedding will be directly influenced by the wedding venue you’ve chosen. For example – you’re not going to have a rustic, country-garden style interior if your venue is by the seaside. Think of your wedding and venue as part of the bigger picture, and go with a venue that’s in-keeping with the theme that you want.

For glamorous, glittering modern big days, we recommend boutique hotels. If it’s a country, rustic, cider-filled wedding you’re dreaming of, then we suggest you check out your nearest barn venues. Whereas if you fancy yourself as a bit of an Elizabeth Bennett marrying her Mr Darcy then a country house will be more your thing. And if you want a little bit of everything we’ve just mentioned, pop a marquee up in the grounds of a country house, and you’ve got a little bit of them all!