Tag Archives: traditional

Things men will consider when proposing

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Popping the question is a huge moment for any couple, and most of the time, it’s down to the proposer to get it just right. The pressure!

So what are those all-important things that go through every man’s mind before proposing?

Himself

Before speaking the official words of ‘Will you marry me’ to his loved one, there’s no doubt that his mind will be thinking ahead to a married future, picturing how it will actually be; him as an actual husband, and her as a wife. And if you don’t already have any little kiddies in the family, he’ll be picturing himself as a dad. Sounds pretty grown up, right?

Another thing that will inevitably enter his mind is what has to happen before becoming Mr and Mrs: the wedding! Envisioning himself at the top of the aisle as his soon-to-be fiancée walks towards him is a pretty big moment, and pretty powerful stuff when it comes to emotions – it may even help him think of what to say!

The parents

Even though asking the father of the bride for permission is more of a tradition than common practice these days, the parents of the bride would probably appreciate a little hint into the fact that this guy might be the one to marry their daughter. It’s good to bare the parents in mind, just a bit!

But then again, all men should know perfectly well that from the moment they meet the parents and onwards, it’s all about trying to impress. And there’s definitely no point in calming down on the ‘impressive’ factor when it comes to the proposal story, is there?

The ring

It’s common for couples to discuss the idea of getting married before popping the question, so the proposal doesn’t come as a total surprise. But maybe the ring shouldn’t come as a total surprise either? The ring is something she’ll wear for the rest of her life, remember!

Walking into a shop and choosing a diamond ring isn’t the easiest task for the typical man. You can most likely picture your significant other saying ‘A ring’s a ring, why does the cut matter so much?”, but any talk of getting married will change their mind (we hope).

Doing some digging into what kind of ring she may like to have on her finger after the proposal is something that will save men a lot of shopping time, and maybe even some nerves by the time it comes round to popping the question.

The friends

Something that’s really important for men to consider when they’re planning to propose is who they tell. They might want to keep it to themselves, but some might want some help or advice of his friends or the bride’s friends – this is where he’s got to be picky! He’ll have to choose friends or family members that he knows will keep it on the hush hush, and stay well clear of blabber mouths!

The method

The next BIG question is HOW will he do it? This is where he’ll have to consider everything about his fiancée-to-be. Will she love a flash mob proposal or is she the kind of girl that cringes at the thought of a dance and sing-along? Is there a memorable date in your relationship that would be significant? Or is there a location that means a lot to you both?

Any proposal should make sure that the only word that’s going around their head is ‘YES’! That means no sign of hesitation or an awkward face being pulled because of how he did it. A flash mob marriage proposal to someone who hates PDA could make her re-evaluate; public humiliation may temporarily conquer how much she wants to marry him. You’ve been warned!

The words

The words ‘Will you marry me’ won’t necessarily naturally come into conversation – especially when the proposal is a total surprise, who knows how the conversation will go with an unsuspecting girlfriend! Whilst you can’t plan everything, he should consider different ways of saying it and practice! It will help the nerves when it comes to it!

Same Sex Wedding Tips

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Wedding planning is stressful enough. It gets even more confusing when most of the advice out there revolves around a bride and groom—and you’re both one of the above.

1. Don’t worry about what you “should” do

Instead of worrying about how to make your ceremony line up with (straight) tradition, view it as a chance to throw an event exactly your way, without any of the old-school “must-haves” that don’t mean anything to you personally. “Because many same-sex couples don’t have gendered roles in their relationship, they really have the freedom to reinvent the wedding.

2. Get creative with your wedding party

Who says a woman has to have maids of honour and only guys get to nominate best men? Choose the guests you want up at the altar with you—whatever sex they are—and name them accordingly. You could have bride’s men, groom’s maids, a man of honour or a best woman, for instance, or give the whole gang a fun name like the “I Do Crew” or “Bridal Brigade.” Or skip the guests altogether and keep all eyes on you and your partner.

3. Social media is your friend

Can’t visualize what your invitations, vows or any other part of your wedding should look like? That’s what Pinterest is for.

4. Put your own stamp on the ceremony

Many traditional wedding ceremonies feature a groom waiting at the altar for his bride to walk toward him down the aisle. So what happens if you’ve got two grooms or two brides? It totally depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Some ideas:

Walk down the aisle one right after the other.

Walk each other down the aisle, perhaps arm in arm or holding hands.

Walk in unison down separate aisles leading to the altar.

Flip a coin before the ceremony to decide who proceeds down the aisle first.

5. You can still have your own pre-parties

There’s no reason you have to forego a party with your best mates just because you’re both stags or hens. So go ahead and plan your own celebration, whether it’s a weekend in Amsterdam or a trip to the seaside. One thing that’s really common is two partners having separate parties on the same night and then meeting up at the end.

6. A planner may be worth the money

Though a wedding planner isn’t in everyone’s budget, a coordinator can help you save time by steering you toward venues and officiants that he knows to be inclusive of same-sex weddings.

7. Vet your honeymoon destination before you book

Once you’ve come up with a list of dream destinations—particularly international ones—do a little research first and cross off any that don’t afford the same legal protections and cultural acceptance that same-sex couples have here. That way, your honeymoon can be just as blissful as the wedding itself.

An Ideal seating plan…

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If you’re having 50 guests at a buffet, you may or may not want to give people specific seating assignments. But if you’re having 100 guests or more and serving a seated meal, you’ll want to make sure everyone’s got a specific place to sit. Why? For one, people like to know where they’re sitting — and that you took the time to choose where and whom they should sit with. It’s also helpful if you’re serving several different entree choices, because the wedding caterer and wait staff can figure out beforehand how many chicken, filet and veggie dishes a given table gets, because they (you) know who’s sitting there.

Create a Paper Trail

If you’re feeling more low-tech, draw circles (for tables) on a big sheet of paper and write names inside them (make sure you know how many people can comfortably be seated at each one). Or you could write every guest’s name on a sticky note and place it accordingly.

Head Up the Head Table

A traditional head table is not round but long and straight, and it’s generally set up along a wall, facing all the other reception tables. It may even have two tiers if your wedding party is large. Usually the bride and groom sit in the middle (where everyone can see them), with the maid of honour next to the groom, the best man next to the bride, and then boy/girl out from there. Flower girls or ring bearers usually sit at the tables where their parents are sitting, much to the relief of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Decide to sit this way, or plan a sweetheart table for a little one-on-one time

Switch Things Up

But you don’t have to do it that way. All the bridesmaids can sit on the bride’s side, and all the groomsmen on the groom’s. Or maybe you’re not into being on display, or you don’t want your wedding party to feel isolated from other guests. Let your wedding party sit at a round reception table or two with each other and/or with their dates/significant others, and have the head table be a sweetheart table for the two of you. (How romantic!) Another option: You two sit with your parents and let that be the head table, with the wedding party at their own tables.

Place Your Parents

Traditionally, your parents and your parents to be sit at the same table, along with grandparents, siblings not in the wedding party, but for one reason or another you might want to let each set of parents host their own table of close family and/or friends. This could mean up to four parents’ tables, depending on your situation — or have the divorced parent who raised you (or your partner) and his/her spouse/date sit at the table with still-married parents.

Remember, the parent-seating question is a flexible one. Set it up in whatever way best suits everybody. If you’re unsure, don’t hesitate to talk to the parents in question about it before you make your final decision.

Tame Tensions

There may also be situations in which certain family members just do not get along. Maybe they haven’t spoken in years. Maybe the last time they saw each other there was a drunken catfight. Understandably, you want to keep them as far apart as possible. Think about these kinds of relationships (or lack thereof) before you even start making your chart, so you can take them into consideration in the first place and begin by seating Auntie Maud at table three and Aunt Lucy across the room at table 15. Trust us — they’ll appreciate it.

Play Matchmaker

Again, all your University or school friends will be so pleased to sit at a table together. This especially works out well if you and your beloved went to the same school and have the same friends. It also gives them all an opportunity to catch up with each other, because they may not have seen each other for a while. But again — reception tables offer a great opportunity to mix and match your friends and your partners — who knows who’ll hit it off? Consider seating friends who don’t know each other (yet), but who you think will get along exceptionally well, at the same table — and the rest is history. It can’t hurt!

You don’t have to be conventional on colour schemes

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Every bride seems to have a colour scheme or wedding theme in mind but are they really important? And, if so, how do you choose one that’s right for you?

As soon as you think of planning your wedding, for some reason the need to get a colour scheme sorted presents itself. Do you pick red because of the season? Why do we feel the need to focus on one or two colours, though?

A lot of people often have a colour in mind, which nine times out of ten develops into something else as time passes and they get more inspired. It would be much more lovely to keep colours eclectic and use your venue as a lead for your colour scheme.

Having a summer wedding? Go with a pretty floral look with your stationery then you can pick and choose accents from it to match your theme as a whole. Doing things this way will save you hours of time and money searching for that ‘one’ colour of bridesmaid’s dress or exact shade of flower.

Close your eyes and think of a feeling rather than searching with your eyes, conjure up hazy summer days, beautiful autumnal sunsets or a spring time landscape and dream up your colour scheme that way!

My most important piece of advice would be to always be yourself – if you have a perfect colour that is ‘you’ and that’s all you need – go for it! If you don’t, there is no rule for you to stick with one or two colours.

Remember… your wedding, your way! Enjoy every minute of planning your perfect day.

Writing Unforgettable Vows

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Writing your own vows can be a bit daunting. You’re making promises to the one you love on your wedding day as all your favourite people watch on. You want the perfect words and you’re feeling the pressure. So, where do you start?

First up, there is some legal wording you must say:

“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I (Bride or Groom’s full name) take you (Bride or Groom’s full name) to be my lawfully wedded wife (or husband).”

We can change these words slightly. For example, you can start with “I ask everyone here today to witness…” but legally, you must say your names and you can’t replace the words “husband” or “wife”.

Beyond the legally required words, you can be as creative as you like. Or not. Don’t feel you must write your own vows. You may prefer traditional vows, along the lines of “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. But if you have decided to put pen to paper, here’s some advice to help you on your way:

Make time: Set aside plenty of time – don’t leave it until the night before or even a few days before because you don’t want to rush it.

Mean what you say, say what you mean: The most important thing is that you really mean what you’re saying. You’re not writing a Hallmark card so avoid clichés and anything that doesn’t ‘feel’ right. We don’t want soppy if soppy is not your style, but if it is, go for it! Don’t use words or phrases that you wouldn’t normally use. You’re not writing for an audience, you’re writing words to live by, dedicated to the most important person in your life. Keep it simple but meaningful.

Think of it as a love letter: But not necessarily a long love letter. Ask yourselves, what is it you love about each other? What do you love about your relationship? Why have you chosen to spend the rest of your lives together? What promises do you want to make? What has your future husband/wife brought into your life?

Have a ‘vow date night’: If you’re writing your vows together, make a night of it. Cook your favourite meal or grab some takeaway, crack open a bottle of wine, reminisce, brainstorm and get writing!

Ideas for wedding gifts

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Between the food, the event space, the photographer and the band — you may have spent a large part of your savings on your wedding. If you were lucky enough to receive wedding gift money from friends and family, you can really make this money work for you. Instead of using your cash for a trip to the Caribbean or on a new car, consider the following suggestions:

Start an emergency fund. We know it doesn’t sound as glamorous as a spa package, but starting an emergency fund and help to combat stress when something unexpected comes up. Whether it’s a sudden boiler breakdown or car repair, this saved cash will help if times get tough. It’ll also make you feel better to know there’s a bit of a cushion. We recommend opening an account that offers quick access and storing away £1,000 — you can always add to it.

Pay some bills. You’ve just planned a huge event and you’ve paid your fair share for it, so don’t feel guilty about using some of your gift money for your monthly bills, or even prepaying your mortgage if you have one. If you’ve been carrying around some unwanted debt — credit card, or car loan — consider paying off some of it. Having trouble deciding which to pay off first? Start by paying off the loan with the highest interest rate.

Watch it grow. It’s a smart idea to save and invest a big chunk of your gift money — this way it can gain interest and over time make money for you. It could be your deposit on a home or a nest egg for retirement. A financial adviser can help make sure you’re putting your cash in the best account for you, whether that be a tax advantaged plan, like a traditional ISA.

Invest in your home. If you’ve been looking for a place to call your own, your wedding money may make a nice deposit payment. As you probably know, the larger your deposit, the less interest you’ll typically end up paying on the loan.

Already have a nest? You could make updates and improvements to your current place, which can potentially increase its property value.

Look into life insurance. Now’s the perfect time to take out life for you and your new spouse. Pushing a plan to the side any further will make it more difficult to attain. Thankfully, this isn’t a huge investment, just a smart one.

Polish weddings

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In Polish culture, weddings are preceded with engagement celebrations. Those are usually small parties held for the closest family members of the groom and the bride and are meant to get the two families meet and get to know each other better. The engagement dinner party means that both families accept the engagement.

In the past, the engagement ceremony was the time when the future bride received a ring from her beloved partner before the entire family gathering in a very official way, which resembled to some extent the wedding ceremony itself. In recent years, however, that official note has been largely abandoned and a ring is delivered when the future groom pops the question for the first time in a more private setting. The family gathering is just a nice way of informing the family members about the mutual decision once it has been made.

The Polish Wedding Ceremony

For many years, preparations for the Polish wedding ceremony and reception were largely concerned with finding a place for the wedding, organising food, drinks, making guest-list and inviting people to the wedding. In some regions, especially in the countryside, the custom was to invite family, friends, and neighbours in person, so the future groom and bride would devote a lot of time to visiting people before the wedding day. In the modern day, although the tradition prevails in some places, open-minded Polish younger generations and celebrities copy the western examples and some Polish brides and Polish grooms like to hold Hen and Stag parties shortly before the wedding day.

Most Polish weddings take place on Saturdays and continue through Sundays. The marriage ceremony and wedding reception for all guests are held on Saturday, while a smaller, more private party for close friends and family is continued on Sunday. There are no weddings during the 40-day Lent before Easter and during the Advent before Christmas. Those periods of year are believed to be the time dedicated for penance and preparation for the most important Christian holidays, so there is not space for public celebrations and dancing parties. Interestingly enough, there are very few weddings in May as well. This is mostly due to superstition, as many people believe that persons who marry in May are not going to be happy and won’t live together long.

In the church, the bride and the groom walk up the aisle together preceded by their groomsmen and bridesmaids. The parents and other guests are usually already seated when the couple enters the church. Whether the ceremony takes place in church or at a local magistrate, there must be two witnesses of the marriage, who sign the documents alongside of the bride and groom. During the religious ceremony, the traditional in the Western movies kiss basically does not exist. Civil ceremonies are less solemn and usually only the bride and groom, and the witnesses are allowed in the room, so whether they kiss or not, very much remains their private venture.

In Poland, weddings in the countryside are usually much bigger than weddings in the city. The reason for that is simple; in the countryside all people know each other, so most get invited to the wedding unless there is some conflict going on between the families. Thus, weddings in the country are longer and more extravagant because more people attend, and more guest return on the following day to celebrate, eat, drink, and dance some more.

A special moment on the first day of Polish wedding celebrations is when the Polish bride is taken the white veil off and an apron is wrapped around her waist. This symbolizes that she gives up her innocence and accepts her duties as a wife, a hostess, and a mother. Once this tradition is satisfied, the wedding guests give presents to the newlyweds. In most cases, those are congratulation card with money, but other useful household objects are also quite common.

 

Japanese weddings

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Shinto is the ethnic religion in Japan and it has a huge impact on the country’s culture and ceremonial traditions. Even today, more than 79% of Japanese people still belong to Shinto temples. Still, a large majority of people in and even outside of Japan are not very familiar with how the religion influences different ceremonies and events in Japan. The same is the case with Japanese wedding traditions that may come as a surprise to many.

The Betrothal/ Engagement

Called the yuino in Japanese, the betrothal ceremony is an exchange of symbolic gifts between the bride’s and groom’s families. The most popular gifts are a seaweed called konbu, which refers to “childbearing woman”; a long piece of hemp in white that represents the wish that both husband and wife will grow old together; and a folding fan that spreads and indicates future growth and wealth. The most common gifts also include a hakama for the groom and an obi for the bride. One of the main gifts in this ceremony is money, which can be £5,000 or more – the money is offered in a shugi-bukuro, a special envelope with gold and silver strings. Ornate rice-paper envelopes are also used to give other gifts.

The Venues

Since most Japanese weddings take place in Shinto temples, the wedding venues are always quite attractive. These locations also feature religious iconography that give the whole function a special feel. Some of the most common are water pavilions, stone dogs, and tall red gates that symbolise the division between the corporeal and spiritual worlds.

San-San-Kudo

This sake sharing ceremony is common for Buddhists as well as Shinto Japanese weddings. It is among the most interesting Japanese wedding traditions for outsiders. There will be three stacked cups of sake and both bride and groom have to drink taking three sips. “Three, three, nine times” – just as the name San-San-Kudo suggests. Ku or 9 means good luck in Japanese culture. So, some believe that the three sips each time represent love, wisdom, and happiness, while others believe they represent earth, heaven, and mankind. Some believe they represent the three couples – the bride and groom, the groom’s parents, and the bride’s parents. However, some believe they represent the biggest human flaws, which are passion, hatred, and ignorance, which the couple will overcome together in life.

Wedding Wardrobe

Something that will always fascinate you in a Japanese wedding is the wedding wardrobe. It is all in white – at least most of the time. The country’s national colors are red and white, and you will notice these same colours in Japanese weddings. While a bride’s gown may be of delicate silk or some other material, the colour is usually white. Sleek evening gowns may come as a surprise to you, but they are quite common. Grooms usually opt for black – they may wear a suit or kimono. At some Japanese weddings, brides wear a white silk material over the bun in their hair – that silk headdress is called a wataboshi and is one of the oldest Japanese wedding traditions.

Speeches

Wedding speeches hold a great place of importance in Japanese wedding ceremonies. Family, friends, teachers, colleagues, and other relatives stand in line and wait for their turn to wish the couple well. These speeches can be moralistic tales about marriage, but they can also be heartfelt messages of love from family and friends.

Gifts for Parents

As you may have gathered, Japanese wedding traditions are often about exchanging gifts. There will be loads of presents for the parents of both the bride and groom. The most common gifts are a toast for the parents, bouquets of flowers, and a personal letter of thanks and love. These simple gestures make Japanese weddings very intimate and special.

Gifts for the Guests

Japanese weddings have a lot available for the guests as well. Brides usually spend up to £50 or even more on favours for their guests. These favours might be a lace bag of sweet almonds and much more.

 

Classic Traditions

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Trends come and go. But, if you want your wedding to be more timeless than trendy, consider incorporating some of classic traditions that have been in hiding for years.

We think it’s time to bring these sweet rituals back!

  1. Tying The Knot

It turns out there is deep symbolism behind the phrase “tying the knot.” It refers to an old Irish and Scottish ritual called hand-fasting. The officiant ties the couple’s hands together with a brightly coloured ribbon or cord. The rope symbolises that the couple is bound together with an eternal bond. Hand-fasting is popular in European weddings—Prince William and Kate Middleton even incorporated it into their royal wedding ceremony.

  1. Wedding Bells

The church bells ringing at the beginning and/or end of a wedding ceremony was once thought to ward off any evil or negative spirits. As many wedding ceremonies have moved out of the church and fewer churches seem to have bells, this tradition has fallen by the wayside. But, don’t give up on this one yet. The original Celtic tradition involved a smaller bell that was rung at the end of the ceremony. The bell was then brought to the couples’ new home and whenever tensions arose (as often they do with newlyweds) the bell was to be rung to restore the marriage commitment and break off the negativity of the argument.

  1. Sixpence In Your Shoe

Most of us are familiar with the rhyme “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” But, not as many are aware of the last line, “and a sixpence in her shoe.”  The sixpence was given by a father to the bride to symbolise all the blessings he had for her. By giving her the sixpence, he was symbolically wishing her great health, wealth and happiness that could be passed down with the coin from generation to generation. So sweet!

  1. Decorating The Car

The ritual of decorating the bride and groom’s wedding car with flowers on the bonnet and ribbons streaming from the side mirrors or ariel began in Germany. The newly married couple would lead a procession to their reception, and guests would beep their horns all the way there to get the party started!

  1. Money Dances

This is a custom that comes in several different forms depending on the culture of the bride and groom. In Poland, the bride will dance with different guests as they take turns pinning money to her. It is sometimes called the apron dance as brides would wear aprons in order to save their gowns from holes. At an Italian wedding, you may see the bride carrying a silk bag and when guests come to dance with her they put money into the bag. The Phillipines, Mexico and several other countries also have their own version of the money dance.

  1. Love Letters

In traditional Icelandic wedding ceremonies, the future bride and groom would write love letters to each other the night before the wedding. They would use the letters to express their feelings about the upcoming day, as well as their hopes and dreams for their future together, or to recount the story of how they fell in love. Oftentimes, parents of the bride and groom or the officiant of the ceremony would also write a letter to the couple. The letters would then be sealed in a box to be opened on the couple’s first anniversary. What a beautiful and meaningful tradition.

 

Intimate Wedding Venues

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Intimate Venues for Small Weddings

Bingham, Richmond

A chic riverside hotel with a restaurant that glows over the Thames come twilight. The Bingham in Richmond is made of two Grade II listed 18th-century houses and run by a mother and daughter team. While its event space allows for up to 100 seated guests, the hotel has 15 bedrooms allowing for up to 30 people to stay overnight. Hire the whole hotel and choose from a casual barbecue by the water or a formal five-course wedding breakfast.

Lower Barns, St Austell

In the Cornish countryside near St Austell, Lower Barns brings together one-of-a-kind furnishings and a bold maelstrom of textures. The hotel creates an upbeat feel in their rural home and a fun and quirky environment for small and intimate weddings. The quirky bedrooms with freestanding baths or a custom-made breakfast bars are real conversation starters. Spend the evening before your nuptials stargazing from the outdoor hot tub and unwinding in style.

Court House Farm, Portishead

A beautiful medieval manor a stone’s throw from Portishead Point and Woodhill Bay. This venue offers plenty of space and the perfect rustic, romantic backdrop to any wedding. Only a couple hours from London or 30 minutes from Bristol, Court House Farm is very well connected whilst maintaining the perfect feeling of country escape. The venue is open all year round and the owners are more than happy to work with you to help create your dream wedding.

Cley Windmill, Norfolk

For something a little different on the Norfolk coast, Cley Windmill is a B&B with tonnes of character. It’s set in a 19th-century grinding mill surrounded by open fields and perfect for intimate wedding ceremonies.  It has a restaurant and a beautiful round Sitting Room too, which can hold up to 22 people. Given the intimacy of the space, it’s all about bespoke occasions whether you opt for a daytime or evening occasion. However, we’re particularly fond of the candlelight dinner option.

Pentillie Castle, Cornwall

In a timelessly elegant fairytale setting, surrounded by woodland and overlooking the River Tamar lies Pentillie Castle. Built in 1698, it has remained in the same family for more than 300 years. It is surprisingly spacious and classic, with 55 acres of gardens to roam in. It’s a wonderful place to feel like royalty and to welcome guests to a special occasion. Say your vows in the romantic Victorian Bathing Hut on the banks of the Tamar or on the Terrace if you prefer. You can furthermore tailor the rest of your day to suit you and your nearest and dearest as you please.

Romney Bay House, Kent

This beautiful 1920s mansion in a spectacular location amidst wild marshland scattered with ancient churches. Romney Bay House Hotel is a spectacular place for a small and intimate wedding reception. Plus, you can hire the whole hotel for up to 20 guests and take the whole hotel for an entire weekend from May to September.

Hever Castle B&B, Edenbridge

Hever Castle is probably best known as the home of famed and fated wife of Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn. Today the magnificent 13th-century property is not only a spectacular attraction, but it’s also open for wedding hire. There are multiple spaces in this historic location so you can have a wedding of any size here. However, in the castle’s inner hall, there is the perfect amount of space for 60 ceremony guests and 40 wedding breakfast attendees. What could be more spectacular?